Sophie Monk was snapped outside Las Palmas nightclub by some paparazzi. We also hate it when paparazzi hound us. Once we were putting out the bins in our dressing gown, when suddenly it fell open, revealing more scrotal manhood then it is desirable to display in a cul-de-sac on a Thursday morning. This is when an unscrupulous pap snapped our wardrobe malfunction and then the next day, it was all over Heat magazine!

Of course none of this ever happened. Well, we did have a dressing gown mishap, but it only shocked old Mrs. Henderson who lives across the road, rather than the national press. Thankfully Sophie Monk was snapped by some wiley photographers, which  - judging by the look of utter disgust on her face in the pictures - she detested.

BLUE STEEL! Okay, okay. She obviously didn't detest having her picture taken. She seems to have relished in it. Unless she always gets into taxi's with her hands on her head.

Sophie Monk madness:

1 \ Sophie Monk topless in The Hills Run Red.

2 \ Sophie Monk was 30 yesterday.

3 \ Sophie Monk watched the Sorcerer's Apprentice

Other sexiness on

1 \ July's girlfriend of the month - Holly from Kent. 

2 \ Mollie from The Saturdays in a peephole dress.

3 \ Jessica-Jane Clement in a bikini in ZOO magazine. 

What's that? A bird? A plane? No, it's Sophie Monk's FHM gallery. We admit, we weren't actually confused if it was a bird or a plane.