Girls Aloud have cut a band member and, get this: it’s not the ginger one.

Nadine, who was widely regarded as the strongest singer (yeh, ‘coz that’s what matters…), will instead release a solo album.

What are the chances that mystical ethereal forces of the universe will deliver an incredible twist of fate that sees Girls Aloud release their comeback single on the same day as Nadine’s? Yep, we’d put our house (dilapidated one bedroom council flat) on that, too.

Relations with Nadine had been fractious since she moved stateside to be with Jesse Metcalfe, the chump who reportedly cheated on her. Serves her right: besties before testes, girlfriend.

There’s been absolutely no mention of Nadine being replaced to maintain the sexiest quintuplet in pop, but we wouldn’t be FHM if we let a little thing like reality stop us indulging in a spot of fantasising, would we? So, who should be GA’s new No. 5?

Frankie from the Saturdays

The purist’s choice. Frankie’s done her time in the youth academy (The Saturdays) and could be ready to make the step up to join her bigger sisters (they’re not actually related, so they can kiss without it being, y’know, pesky incest – even better).

Paris Hilton

She’s about to release a Kylie-inspired solo album, which is bound to be bloody great, and she’d bring some pioneering new dance moves to GA – what band doesn’t need the ‘arm-stretch, nose-scratch, definitely-not-a-Nazi-salute’ in their arsenal?

Megan Fox

No discernible musical talent, but we needed an excuse to post this picture. Look how pretty she is, aww. And, just think: when it’s time for her and Cheryl to slog it out in FHM’s 100 Sexiest, they’ll be side-by-side on stage. They could wrestle for it. Naked. In Angel Delight. Video to follow…

Who would YOU like to see riding the Love Machine? (We mean joining Girls Aloud, not straddling Tom Jones, you sicko.)