What's their food like? A hodgepodge of German, Serbian and Hungarian grub with a charming Balkan kick. You can look forward to borscht (beetroot soup), iskembe çorbasi (tripe soup) and ciorba de potroace (giblet soup). Mmm… soupy.

Local tipple: For something soft, try their Elderberry drink Socata which is so popular there’s an official Fanta version, ‘Fanta Shokata’. For the boozehounds amongst you, check out plum-flavoured paint stripper-cum-beverage Rakia.

Biggest cultural oddity: Transylvania’s favourite garlic-hater, Dracula. He was pretty damn odd, biting virgins, living in a big castle, wearing capes, that kind of thing. And he was undead. Very odd.

Most likely to kill you: Again, good ol’ Drac. On the plus side, you’ll be able to turn into a bat, so that’s cool.

Phrase to memorise: ‘Aceasta doamna va plati pentru tot’, which means ‘This lady will pay for everything’. If you can get away with that sir, you are truly a god amongst men.

Best place to visit: If you’re a drug dealer and/or a sun worshipper the Black Sea Coast is a fantastic spot, being dirt cheap and surprisingly hot. Try the mud baths – they’re ‘therapeutic’.

National animal: The Lynx, undoubtedly one of the coolest cats on the planet. Nice work Romania.

Impressive pub trivia: Romania's flag is near identical to that of Chad. Random but true.

Sports they would beat England at: Handball, without a doubt, having won the Handball World Cup a record 4 times (1961, 1964, 1970, and 1974). No, we didn’t realise it existed either.

Would you want to live there? There’s an old phrase that rings in the ear: “There’s always trouble in the Balkans.” Probably bullshit, but we wouldn’t risk it. Besides, we can’t speak Romanian and we’re scared of bats. Lose/lose, really.