On a recent trip to Afghanistan, two of this country’s favourite ever sportsmen experienced a good old bombing of British troops by the Taliban. Nasty. Andrew Flintoff was one of them. But it’s the second, Gary Lineker, who looks like he’s had the last laugh, because he’s the one standing on a red carpet wearing a really expensive suit wondering how the bloody hell he wangled such an attractive girlfriend. All the Taliban get to do is smoke opium and shoot Americans.