On the eve of the Champions League final, Terry Venables was quoted: “Messi is wonderful on the right, but Ronaldo is terrific on the right, the left and through the middle as well. He also scores goals with his head, which Messi couldn’t do even if they put a top hat on him.”

To be fair to El Tel, nobody expected the little Argentine to leap unmarked to seal United’s fate in the final, but even more amusingly, he then went and put a hat on and got ceremoniously shitfaced in front of the whole of Barcelona. And to his insurers’ horror, nearly fell off the open top bus. Bravo.