Sadface, It's the last First XI World Cup bulletin!
Here's what's happening in history-making South Africa today:
Sunday 11 July 2010
19:30 Spain v Holland, Johannesburg (Soccer City), BBC One / ITV1
Here is a list of things we are going to have after the football match this evening: The 2010 World Cup winners, pictures of many Spanish or Dutch people looking very sad, a first-time world champion, pictures of brilliant scenes in a town square in either Amsterdam or Madrid, the sweet smell of victory, the sickening odour of defeat and... the memories. Yes friends, it's the World Cup final.
Who will win? Well, gun to our head: it will be Spain. Even without a gun to our head: it will be Spain. They are extremely good at keeping the ball. That sort of bland skill counts double at international level. There is a high chance that English Hero Howard Webb, who is refereeing the final will award them a goal before it even starts to reward them for their excellent ability to maintain control of a football. Holland have the woefully one-footed Arjen Robben and the really-quite-good Wesley Sneijder, but... Holland: World Cup Winners. It just doesn't look right, does it? Plus: the magic octopus says it will be Spain.
So these two, unbelievably, have never met in a major tournament before. In their nine games to date they have won four each and drawn once. That guy, Even Steven? He loves this match. Would you like some more facts? Here are some: Spain are the 12th side to make a World Cup final, this is Holland's third World Cup final but the first in which they're not playing the host, and Dirk Kuyt is a wonderful man.
On this day in 1998 Croatia won the spectacularly meaningful third and fourth place play-off, beating the Netherlands 2-1.
MATCH OF THE DAY 19:30, BBC One / ITV1
HOLLAND V SPAIN
The Final. Johannesburg (Soccer City). Capacity: 62, 760
Holland in 10 words: No great shakes, really. How have they got this far?
Spain in 10 words: A team of Spaniards that play football very very well.
This is what winning the World Cup final looks like:
This is what losing the World Cup final looks like:
HALF TIME QUIZ
Which World Cup finalists' emblem have we subtly defaced below? The first correct answer in the comments section receives a cash prize (terms and conditions apply) [TERMS AND CONDITIONS: Cash prize value = 1p. Cost to enter = 1p. Your home is at risk if you do not continue to correctly identify bastardised national football association logos]
MATCH OF THE DAY 2
MISS HOLLAND vs MISS SPAIN
Who's hotter? Have a think, do a series of tests, possibly powernap on it, then tell us your answer in the comments box. Our final features two of the most popular girls featured in the World Cup First 11 bulletins to date. They have charmed the world with their personalities and senses of humour and smell. Who will triumph to be crowned ultimate female winner of the World Cup? Only you can decide.
Monique Smit knows more about formations and tactics than you can ever imagine. Don't challenge her, she will have you.
Journalist and girlfriend of Iker Casillas Sara Carbonera says: "I love goals"
The World Cup is over today. This man falling over may cheer you up.