Anon says...

“When my mate Jon was 13, he found himself troubled by persistent raging boners. Not a disability in itself, but it was when combined with his role as the school’s best swimmer. Jon managed to keep his hard-ons in check when racing against other boys, but the district swimming gala – with its female competitors and attendant busty mothers – was just too much for him. Arise, little Jon. Sure, he attempted to disguise it through crafty posturing and by crouching in ‘dive’ mode on the starting block. But he knew this was just a delay tactic. The moment of horror arrived: ‘For the last time, will lane four please stand up!’ With teary goggles, he complied… just as his helmet popped up above the waistband of his little blue Speedos.”