Carl Turgoose, via e-mail...

“At Stirling University, I played in the most depraved rugby team of all. Which is quite a claim. The most daring of our games was the Bull Dash. Across the road from the pub was a field with… a bull. Each week one of the guys had to strip, sneak up behind the bull, touch it and then leg it. Most of the time the touches were so light the animal didn’t even register, but one time I got triple-dared into slapping it super hard. Bad idea. It screamed, reared up onto its hind legs, turned and charged. With the lads cheering the bull, I sprinted as fast as I could to safety. Only I misjudged my jump and ended up ripping a 10-stitch gash in my thigh on the barbed wire fence. Still, as the doctor jokingly said, an inch lower and I would have left my bollocks on the fence.”