“Worst memory? Being asked to read out loud during an English lesson when I was 15, as I wasn’t paying attention. Opening the book, I cockily leant back and balanced up against the Portakabin’s rear door. Except I’d had this tremendous fart brewing for ages. I couldn’t concentrate on both. It was inevitable: the fart slipped out, resonating like a duck quack through my wooden chair. But as I burst out laughing, I hit the door’s emergency-release bar – and rolled out comically into the playground. It was worth the week’s detention.”