“Four years ago I worked the nightshift for a big international TV distributor. We were syndicating a David Attenborough nature documentary across the entire Arab world's satellite TV networks. And my job was simple: to dub over the relevant subtitles by scrolling through a list of languages and clicking the right one.

In my defence, there are over 100 languages, all with a lengthy ID codes, so it's easy to make a mistake. Especially when you've been smoking puff in the carpark before going into work. Still, it was unfortunate that of all the languages I could have wrongly assigned, the entire Arab world had to receive the two hour broadcast with Jewish Hebrew subtitles over it.

Funnily enough, I think we might have got away with it, if the Sultan of the United Emirates hadn't been watching and lodged a very stern complaint before banning us from his networks for three months. The lost advertising revenue to my company? About $1.25m. The look on my face when I realised it was me? Priceless. For everyone else that is.”

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