D Ince, Exeter...

“My mate Si is on a rare date just before Xmas. After drinking a bottle of wine by himself – she was driving – he gets obsessed with thinking of a compliment to give her when she comes back from the loo. Except his brain isn’t working. ‘Shall I say “You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen”?’ he thinks. ‘How about “the most vivid eyes I’ve ever seen”?’ Finally she emerges from the toilet – and in his confused state, blurts out: ‘You have the most eyes I’ve ever seen!’ What a poet.”