Courtesy of our resident doom-monger Chris Bell, here's something to cheer you up on a Friday:

1.  AIRCRAFT CONTRAILS ARE COOLING THE EARTH.

It’s true – for years scientists have wondered if the little wisps of smoke from aircraft might play a role in Global Dimming, where pollution in the sky actually blocks the sun and causes the earth to cool. During the week after 9/11, they got their proof. The forced no-flight policy for the few days after the attacks gave scientists the opportunity to see how the lack of any contrails affected the temperature. And guess what: the overall temperature of the U.S. went up a whole degree Celsius during that time.

That may not sound like a lot, but keep in mind that when Krakatoa blew up in 1883, it changed the global temperature by the same amount and fucked up the climate for years afterward.

2.  THE THREE GORGES DAM MADE OUR DAY LONGER

It’s true – the dam the Chinese built over the Yangtze River is so big, it changed the rotation of the earth. When China opened the dam and filled the reservoir with 42 billion tons of water that didn’t used to be there, the whole planet wobbled on its axis, and even slowed ever so slightly. True, the days after were longer by less than a microsecond. But still: that’s some scary supervillain shit RIGHT THERE.