Last night, the good folks over at Bauer Xcel Media gathered together for a shmorgishborg of food, drinks and laughs for the annual Holiday Party. And while I was, unfortunately, on the other side of the country, that didn't stop me from FaceTiming with some of my co-workers to see the copious amounts of alcohol they were enjoying.
While I may have been absent from the festivities, it still got me thinking: How does one survive the Holiday Party without completely embarrassing themselves?
After careful consideration, these are the ways—so use them to your benefit for your company's bash this holiday season.
Don't Get Too Drunk
It's important to remember that you're not a freshman in college enjoying his/her first frat party, trying to prove to everyone that you can drink them under the table. With an abundance of booze to choose from and, presumably, an open bar, it's necessary to treat this office party as you would a wedding—get drunk, but not obnoxious. Remember, you need to spend 40-plus hours per week with these people.
Never Take A Co-Worker Home
Even if there's nothing more than friendship, when it comes to office gossip, the second two colleagues leave separately with one another, the second people are whispering and speculating on what happened. Of course, if you do have intentions to get down and dirty with a fellow employee, well, good luck dealing with the consequences from other people in the office—as well as the person you woke up next to.
Avoid Being The Center Of Attention
It's important to never be the guy who everyone's talking about the following year as being "wildly drunk"—assuming you don't do anything dumb enough to get your ass canned the day after the Holiday Party. Having fun is a must—it's the holidays and you're all celebrating a good, long, hard year of work. But to get shitcanned after doing tequila shots on top of the bar is not the proper way to get there.
Sip, Don't Chug
Again, you're not out with your buddies on a Friday night with nothing but two days to cure your hangover, man, so drink slowly. In fact, you might be best served to just sip wine and then move to lighter beer all night, avoiding hard alcohol altogether strictly from fear something bad might happen.
Don't Talk Work
It's great that you finally have some time alone to tell your boss all those creative ideas you have, but trust me, it's not the time or place to do it. You're not going to get a raise because you pitch him/her while sipping whisky and reeking of booze. In fact, the best way to make the office party lame is by talking about or complaining about work—so just don't do it.
It's common for different departments in a company to sit together, mingle and form their own little clique, but an office party is the time to break away from the same faces you see every single day and have the same conversations with. This is your moment to become a social butterfly, so team up with a buddy or two and mingle around the room to talk with everyone.
Dress To Impress... Or For Laughs
There's two theories to dressing for holiday parties—get dolled up and dress to the nine's, or go so outrageous that people are wondering where this inner comedian came from. If you go with the former, make sure to follow standard rules by matching your belt with your shoes, layering properly and, for God's sake, don't wear a tacky holiday tie. As for the latter, well, an ugly holiday sweater is the proper technique—but you probably already knew that.
Show Up The Next Day
Whether this means avoiding a dumb arrest or being way too hungover to make it into the office, actually showing up the day after the Holiday Party is the best way to, not only survive, but to impress your colleagues. Sure, you all feel like crap, but being there, united in your hangovers and reminiscing about the party is part of the fun.
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