It's Valentine's Day today, and, because it's either the most hated holiday because you're alone, or the one you stress out about the most to make it perfect, it always seems to be way-too-overhyped, doesn't it?
No matter what your stance is on the most lovely day of the year, it can be tragic—and one of our favorite ladies, model Cj Franco, wanted to share with you one of her Valentine's Day horror stories so that you don't feel too bad about yourself at the end of the night when it all goes to shit.
What was my most tragic Valentine's Day experience? A few years ago, I moved to Miami—for approximately 72 hours!
I had been in an on-again, off-again relationship with this Monotone, East Coast, "Wannabe Drake," who actually convinced me to move across the country so we could "spend more time together."
We got a neat apartment, painstakingly compromised on textiles and furniture, I enrolled in college, leased a car, and even made quick friends with the valet guy in our building—and, I swear to you guys, what happened next was completely unprovoked!
I was on my very best, "wifey behavior" when this Dude went and "changed his mind." Admittedly, it was a fairly unmutual breakup, and by some miracle of fate, I managed to not smother him to death, with a stylish throw pillow. But, more importantly, I didn't let that beady-eyed maniac ruin my Valentine's Day!
That evening, I enjoyed a romantic candlelit dinner at a quaint Italian restaurant in downtown Miami. I even exchanged loving glances across the table, with the most reliable man in my life, my rock—Milo, my dog. The restaurant allowed Milo to sit in the chair opposite of mine, paws on the table, Lady and the Tramp style.
I later went back to the apartment and actually spent what would have been prime Valentine's Day sexy time repacking all of my suitcases as if I were fleeing from an all-inclusive, two-star resort. I booked the first available flight and took my booty right back to Los Angeles!
Years ago, I vowed to never tell anyone about my time as a Floridian. Today, I share this with you guys because I don't want any of you settling this Valentine's Day! Don't go for the weak-chinned, emotionally-detached person to bring you down on this lovely day.
I'll admit..I may; on occasion, just ever so lightly -retouch my photos (yeah ya, the jig is up!) In lieu of say- obsessively editing a #single ordinary photo of myself; until I'm borderline unrecognizable & have developed crippling body dysmorphia. I spend the SAME EXACT AMOUNT OF TIME repeatedly, and aggressively taking and retaking dozens lightning speed videos, all while I search for "the perfect angle". After about 20+ sets of "failed" #boomerang videos I have discovered the laziest millennial exercise! #realselfie #signmeup #nomakeup #vday2017 #ValentinesdayPSA
Damn! OK, hopefully none of this turns out being you with your significant other tonight. We're taking notes—and drooling over these other pics of Cj Franco to help ease the awkward pain.
For more sexy pictures of model CJ Franco, make sure to give her a follow on Instagram.