There are three people in the media industry who I am both jealous of and really hope I can become someday, one of whom happens to be Anthony Bourdain, who travels around the world to hangout, taste amazing food and take in breathtaking scenery that he gets to call his office.
As brash as they come, Bourdain—who hosts Parts Unknown on CNN—recently did a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) where he opened up about a few different things. One of those things was this whole pumpkin spiced bullshit craze that happens this time of year, and Anthony's thoughts are so on-point that every girl might be quivering in fear.
“I would like to see the pumpkin spice craze drowned in its own blood. Quickly. Juice — I don't understand the juice cleanse. I mean, if you've ever had a colonoscopy, the doctor gives you something that will cleanse you right quick, so I don't really understand juice cleanses. I believe celiac disease is a very serious ailment, and if you're diagnosed with it, I'm pleased that there are now gluten-free options, but these people who are treating gluten as, you know, an equivalent of Al Qaeda are worrying to me.”
Thank you, Anthony, you share the opinion of men all around the world and this needed to be said.
Bourdain was asked a variety of other questions, too, so here's some of what he said during the rest of his Reddit session:
On one of his scariest Parts Unknown experiences: “...immediately after eating Nashville Hot Chicken, that was truly, truly terrifying. And if you're considering going to Nashville, by the way, please notice that Nashvillians themselves don't eat the extra-hot fried chicken. They know better. Unless you've got three or four days to spend in a bathroom, I really advise against that.”
On his fast-food indulgences: “I have an unholy and guilty attraction to fast-food macaroni and cheese. During the morning I get these horrendous cravings for Popeye's mac and cheese, and, uh, I will often disguise myself to try to slip into Popeyes. Or in a pinch, I will even go to the Colonel. There, I admit it. And I'm always recognized. I hate Twitter, because immediately they take a picture of me holding the evidence in my hand. It's like getting caught coming out of a porn shop with a video in your arms. Very embarrassing.”
On not drinking with fans: “If I took every offer of a shot or other substance that fans offer to me, I wouldn't have made it to 2008, much less to this year...If you were to offer me a shot, I would probably politely decline. I know people offer those things with the best intentions but I'm a dad now.”
Bourdain's as cool as they come, so you can't help but admire the honesty and candidness in his replies—even if the image of him shitting his brains out after Nashville spicy chicken is forever stuck in my head now.
You can read the entire Anthony Bourdain Reddit thread here to see what else he had to say.