For whatever reason, life doesn't stop the moment you decide to have sex with your partner. You'd think that at least during procreation (if that's your intent) that certain hazards would refrain from ruining your steez, but a las, life stops for nothing!!
Of course, who better than to share in that sentiment than Reddit users? Seriously, I don't know what I did before Reddit. Actually, yes I do—I wallowed in my awkward misery alone versus having the support system of an entire weird platform. It was lonely times, folks, lonely times. I was younger then, what can I say? Wiser now and sharing the wealth with ya'll! You're welcome.
This week, I came across a thread so entertaining, I just couldn't help myself.
"What's the silliest reason you've had to stop in the middle of having sex?"
Rats, He Got Me Again!
- "A rat bit me. He had a pet rat that had free run of the space at the top of his dresser. I grabbed the edge of the dresser in the middle of things, and the rat did not take the intrusion kindly and delivered a sneak attack to my fingertip. Blood fountained everywhere, and we had to take a first aid break."
Red, Red Wine
- "We knocked over an open bottle of red wine and it started spilling on the white carpet. He stops and starts scrubbing it, "OH SHIT! MY DAD IS GOING TO KILL ME!" He was 30 years old. Apparently it was his dad's house"
I've Got The Juice
- "My diabetic boyfriends blood sugar dropped. He just stopped and yelled "JUICE!!!"
Bye Bye Birdie
- "My boyfriends pet cockatiel started to sing 'Happy and you know it' and wolf whistle.. while watching us."
No Noodles In Bed, Please
- "We had been going at it for awhile so my legs were pretty tired. I told my boyfriend while we we're switching positions that my legs made me feel like a noodle, and in his sexiest, not at all trying to be funny voice, he goes: "yeah? Well you're a tight little noodle". He was furious with himself for saying it after I couldn't stop laughing long enough to continue."
Just A Squirrel Looking For A Nut
- "Was in her bed for the first time. The sides of her bed frame rose up and were on the same level as the bed. Flash to love making, I'm half standing going to town, when I reposition my foot on the covers. Turns out that was actually the frame, and I slip, fall off the bed and slam my head on the wall. I didn't get a nut, but I did get a concussion."
Lead Image Via Getty
To read the full thread, head HERE