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I don't necessarily enjoy writing about them, but it seems that sharks will forever be a hot topic among readers. Why don't I enjoy it? Well, a few reasons, but most specifically—I happen to really love the ocean and the idea of getting my limbs ripped off by a Great White is just a little too disconcerting for my chicken sh-t blood to bare, but I digress.
We're not here to talk about a Sissy-Mary like me. We're here to talk about the real heroes in our midst—the men insane enough to look sharks dead in the eye and live to tell about it.
On this week's episode of, "I Didn't Let My Wife Die Because I'm A Good Man", we have the story of a couple snorkelling near the remote Ascension Island, in the British territory of St. Helena. Sounds nice, I guess. I suppose my knowledge of geography isn't too keen considering I was super confused at the idea of British folks snorkelling. Is that just me? Maybe. Anyway, so there they are snorkelling along when a shark BITES HER F'IN LEG. No warning. Just chomp. Her husband then proceeds to PUNCH the shark in the face. I've never even punched a person in the face, let alone A SHARK. I guess that's love for ya, makes you do some crazy things.
The woman was identified as a mother of two, named by locals as Frankie Gonsalves, who works for the government of St. Helena. She was eventually treated at local Georgetown Hospital and then airlifted to the UK. The extent of her injuries are unclear. The type of shark that attacked her is also not known.
Here's the kicker and what I REALLY would like you all to pay attention to:
"The Government has warned that people enter the water at their own risk."
That is true of MOST governments. They aren't going to take responsibility for you ass swimming in shark infested waters. Just go to the aquarium like a normal person who values their flesh and blood not being spilled among the seas.