Am I the only one who remembers the 2001 hit song “Flavor Of The Weak?” I’m here to investigate if you’re the flavor of the week or for keeps.
Now, I’ve put up with all kinds of nonsense and shenanigans because I am an angel (and conveniently naive). However, I’ve had to learn the hard way that doing “the most” won’t make anyone more invested in you, it just makes you a doormat. And being patient, understanding and reliable will not get you the credit you deserve.
I’m quite openly an advocate of playing the whole mindf-ck game. So if you're not sure where you stand, why not test it out? Before swinging into the world of emotional terrorism, make sure you're psychologically prepared to follow through, and that your cut-off game is the strongest.
I know you’re a wonderful dude! When you walk in the room it’s like a breath of fresh air. Your vibe is on point and you have excellent hygiene (so important to me). That's all super dope… but it has nothing to do with what someone else is getting over. Let me get out my magnifying glass, because Detective Cj is about to walk you through this:
First question you need to ask yourself: What was her motivation to get with you in the first place?
If you are the first man she has ever dated that wasn’t an NBA player, consider the possibility that you may not be the first pick in her draft. I’ve had to face the harsh reality that perhaps someone is dating me simply because they are “oppositing”—yes I made that term up. Oppositing is when someone dates completely outside of what he or she is normally attracted to. I’ve been disenchanted to discover that someone I was having all kinds of feelings for only dates blondes with double-D’s… or with Australian accents… or women resembling their mother (we’ll save this one for another conversation!). Of course, you could be the exception, but if she’s never dated anyone like you, most likely she’s oppositing.
No, I’m not just listing random sports terminology to appeal to a broader demographic of men (I’m totally doing that… is that terrible of me? I’m the worst). If you met during a relationship at halftime, you best believe you're not going to have floor seats for the second half of the game.
If you’ve been told a story about her ex’s childhood, things are not looking good for you! I’m not saying that you're screwed, more like bottom of the ninth. Unless you're a therapist sleeping with your patient, there is no reason in the world that you need to know ANYTHING about her ex! She's not hooking up with you, she’s hooking up with you...for her ex. Red flags include phrases such as “He would be so pissed if he knew we were together now” or “Wait, you’re his boss, you could just fire him, right?!”
Don’t excuse bad behavior or justify why your situation is the exception. “Slammed with work” is an imaginary phrase, especially when work involves outings with the whole squad which later end up all over Snapchat and Instagram (WTF is your job? Weekday nightclub networking? Just stop!) She should be missing you when things are going well; not just when she had a rough day, when she’s bored or lonely… I’ve always wanted to storm out dramatically, turning back briefly to say “Don’t call me when you're lonely”.
Look, if you can’t tell if you're a stand-in boyfriend, implement a few rules.
- Don’t respond to texts after 10pm
- Never make same-day plans
- Call her out of her bullsh*t
- Never make plans off a text message with three words or less—Example: “what u doin”? Ignore that sh-t!! Literally, zero effort! Pull back and let her step up to bat (last one I swear)
Like I always say, “Don’t hate the player, Hate the game”. You might just be Mr. Right... at the wrong damn time!
For more sexy pictures of model CJ Franco, make sure to follow her on Instagram.