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There are so many reasons people shouldn't join the mile high club that we're actually having a difficult time formulating a proper list. You know when something is so obvious that the idea of having to explain it to people just makes your brain hurt? We run into this problem a lot and frankly, guys, it's tiresome. Given the nature of what an article is, it's sort of our job to explain this sh*t. So, let us go ahead and list a few solid reasons.
OK, here we go, people shouldn't have sex on a plane because: it's an object flying at 39,000 feet in the air, at an average speed of 575 MPH. Most people can't have sex in a bed successfully without bumping foreheads, so, really? WTF people? Actually, that's basically it. We don't need to continue.
That being said, people are going to want to join the mile high club no matter what. We might as well educate them as best we can, right? We're going to outline a couple of questions most people want to know about the mile high club. Hopefully it'll help if you ever find yourself in a frisky in-flight situation.
What is the mile high club?
The mile high club is a saying that refers to any person(s) who have had sex on an airplane, in-flight. The aircraft would technically need to be at least one mile above the ground. Some people speculate a few reasons as to why someone would want to have sex on an airplane. One theory being that the vibration of the plane speeds up/increases arousal. Other people suggest that the idea of getting caught adds to the allure and passion of the act.
How to join the mile high club?
Well, that would depend on your definition of sex. From a medical standpoint, you can join the mile high club from oral sex too. If it's good enough to contract an STD, it's good enough to join a club. We can't very well sit here and explain how to have sex, but what we will tell you is that you should most definitely go into the airplane bathroom to complete the act. Do NOT have sex in front of people, especially young children. You will go to jail or at the very least, be shamefully humiliated. Don't believe us? Keep reading.
The Mile High Club Gone Wrong:
Below you'll find a video of a "couple" on a flight to Ibiza. We hope this is all the motivation you'll need to avoid joining the mile high club, or at the very least, not joining the mile high club right there in the middle of the public plane.
According to The Sun, the man being straddled like a pony is 31-year-old Shaun Edmondson. Initially, the blonde lady doing the straddling remained a mystery, but that soon changed. She has now been identified as 39-year-old Tracey Bolton, who claims she was just giving him a lap dance and that until boarding the flight they were complete strangers. Sounds like, uh, safe decision making skills. Oh, but it gets better!! Shaun is F'in engaged and his fiancé, 25-year-old, Jenna Ross was at home pregnant with his unborn child.
No matter how bad your mile high club experience goes, it will never be as bad as what you just witnessed/read about. If there's anything you should take away from this article, it's that.
Lead Image Via Getty