Barbecue - are there three more beautiful syllables in the English language?
No, of course not. We know this, you know this and, more than anyone, resident FHM grill-meister DJ BBQ knows this.
Because a truly great barbecue isn't just about the food. It also has the power to bring people together – a glorious gathering where, over a shared interest in huge stacks of juicy meat and ice-cold brewskies, strangers can become friends, and maybe even... dare we say it, more than that.
But getting all romantic at a BBQ is harder than it seems. Ketchup-stained T-shirts and beer-scented belches are not aphrodisiacs – which is why we decided to ask DJ BBQ to offer us some tips on how to rule any BBQ and win the girl in the process...
01 COOK HER UP A LIFE-CHANGING STEAK
"If you wanna win over that hot rad chick, grill her a perfect steak.
"First of all, buy the best (affordable) meat you can – don’t go remortgaging your house for the sake of a T-bone. Whip up a big tub of unsalted butter, and mix some rosemary, sage and thyme in there. Chuck some sea salt on the steak and then, once it’s sealed, slather some herby butter all over that mother. Watch as it cascades, melting with the flavourful fat. Radonkulous.
"Then rest it for half the time you cooked it for, crack some pepper on there, and voila – the quickest way to get laid."
02 SHOW OFF
"Set your grill up so you’ve got indirect cooking, which'll enable you to juggle everything at once like a sexy circus performer. Give yourself a hot zone, a medium-heat zone and a safe zone. That way you can cook big hunks of meat, quick grills – and even salad and fruit. When you achieve that, you’ll boss any BBQ."
03 ACCOMMODATE HER NEEDS
"There’s no shame in preferring a well-done steak, and the truth is that, while it's difficult, you can still make it hella tasty. Most people overcook it and dry it out (the ultimate grilling sin). You want to take it to medium-well and then leave it to rest – in that time, it’ll heat to well done without losing its juicyness.
"The key is to poke the meat – I use the face system. If you poke your cheek, that’s pretty much what a rare steak should feel like. Chin is medium and forehead is well-done. Easy-freakin’-peesy.
"The worst thing you can do is cut into your steak while it’s cooking. It’s a pissed off, tightened-up muscle, and if you cut into it all those juices are gonna go away – and that’s a straight-up crime where I come from."
04 SET THE MOOD
"When it comes to tunes, I work by one single rule – if the women are dancing, then you’re winning.
"One bad choice and they’ll scatter, leaving you with the worst kind of meat market. I just play party music – I’ll drop Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance With Somebody, and follow it up with some Beastie Boys. I call it the insanity switch – once everybody’s lubed up, I go Eighties and get my groove on."
05 DANCE LIKE EVERYONE'S WATCHING
"Two words: Running. Man. I went to classes for weeks trying to learn that sacred move. If you can nail that then the chick is yours. You’re getting married, bro."
06 DEAL WITH THE COMPETITION
"Everybody thinks they’re king of the grill – but in this kind of situation, you’ve just gotta chill.
"Use it to your advantage. Finish off the steak you’re cooking, and deliver it straight to the sexy señorita while the other guy gets on with his business. Grab some ice-cold brewskies, check out the sides, then make a triumphant return once the other dude’s gotten bored."
DJ BBQ is working with Asda to encouraging Brits to make the best of their barbecue this summer. With a huge range of Extra Special British Wagyu and Extra Special Aberdeen Angus cuts available at affordable prices you can get inventive with your grilling without breaking the bank. Head to asda.com/TOL for more information