Heatwave? Pah. See How It Stacks Up Against FHM's Totally Scientific Scoville Scale

It's hot out there. Hot enough that you're totally at liberty to preface 'hot' with any swear word of your choice.

Whether you did battle with a train in danger of being cancelled due to melting, or if you did battle with your wardrobe, this heatwave has made damn well sure we all know what it truly means to sweat like a glass blower.

But we can't let you suffer. There's plenty of stuff you can do to help ease the actual pain of the sun (like wearing suncream and applying it properly, you're an adult now) but let's see how the heatwave stacks up against FHM’s totally official Scoville Scale (coldest first)...

Pitta bread (untoasted)


Pre-warmed buffet plate


Sailor's perineum on a sweaty July day




A cuppa someone hands to you (not handle first, the idiot)


Seatbelt buckle that day you drove without a shirt last summer


Your friend's mum, Beverley, AKA Babz


Maccy D's apple pie


Fiery core of the sun


Pitta bread (straight out of the toaster)


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