I think anyone who has watched both Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York can agree that you have to be willing to suspend a little belief in order to really enjoy them. Take the other night, for example. It was around two-in-the-morning and Showtime Kids was playing Home Alone 2. Unable to sleep, my mood was a nice blended cocktail of agitation and despair. Why was my body doing this to me?! Normally, when this happens, I pitch a fit that could rival a toddler at the mall, but because Home Alone was on, I was OK — for a couple of minutes, anyway.
All of a sudden, I started to watch, and I mean, really watch WTF was going on. How could anyone enjoy these movies? The plot is completely unrealistic! The robbers, Harry and Marv, couldn't have possibly survived half the injuries Kevin McCallister inflicted upon them. The kid was brilliant, but sadistic — he's the Joffrey freakin' Baratheon of Christmas movies. They never stood a chance.
Shortly after all these thoughts were done swirling around in my brain, I declared I would stay up for the duration of the movie analyzing just how ridiculous it was. Looking back, I realize this was a clear sign of sleep deprived delirium. But I'm glad it happened, because, as a result, I've pulled the most memorable injuries from both Home Alone movies and ranked them. I narrowed it down to 13, 'cause, any more than that and I would have found myself composing particularly heated Tweets to director, Chris Columbus, and I didn't think that was a good look.