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How To Get More Matches On All Your Dating Apps

OkCupid, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, Match.com, Bumble, eHarmony...Does this list ever end? I mean, really, how many dating apps are necessary to exist in a single universe? There has to be some sort of mathematical limit whereupon if new dating apps continue to be created that the earth and consequently humanity itself will implode.

I get the fact that there's 7 billion people on this planet, but I'd venture to say something with the name Coffee Meets Bagel is going to help anyone find their soulmate, but I digress. I've been digressing actually, the point of this article is actually to assist people, so that's what I'll do.

via GIPHY

You want to know how to actually garner some sort of positive response from these apps, right? I mean what else would be the point other than to at the very least get a quick handy. Kidding. The point is love and nowadays, love starts first with a match and here's how to get more.

The Proof is in The Picture

We obviously live in a very visual society, how else would The Kardashians be famous if that weren't the case? I'm not suggesting you need to look like David Beckham, but you DO need to realize how important your picture is. Please don't make a gym selfie your profile picture. Please don't include anything involving you chugging copious amounts of alcohol from something like a beer bong. Speaking of bongs, maybe leave those out until the second date or so. Additionally, do not post a picture with another female. Yes, that includes a picture of you and your sister at her wedding. It's confusing to women looking at your profile. Try including a photo of you outdoors or with a dog! Dogs are always a plus. Unless she's a cat person...blegh.

The Key is to be Witty, but Not Dim-Witted

Next to your picture, your bio is the second most important thing when it comes to dating of the online variety. It's really your only chance to "speak" to the girl without actually speaking to the girl. I would stay away from quotes from The Bible unless your on Christianmingle.com or maybe even JDate if you're thinking Old Testament. I would also avoid quotes from famous sport's coaches, it just screams uber-douche-jock to have something like, "Winners never quit and quitters never win." Look, I like Vince Lombardi, but unless you ARE Vince Lombardi, cut the shit. I think we can all agree that women like a man that can make them laugh, so go with that! If you can't think of something on your own, go with something from a Judd Apatow movie, that always kills.

Figure Out Which Fish in The Sea Are For You

As mentioned earlier, there are a shit ton of dating apps. Subsequently there are also a shit ton of women. You need to start narrowing down what sort of women you're trying to meet and what you want from them. Point blank, if you're looking for a quick fling in the bedroom, why are you on Match.com or OkCupid? Women can smell that sort of intention from a mile away! Just use Tinder or hell, even Craigslist. The more true to yourself you are with what you're looking for the better success you'll have with these matches and apps.

So in summary, good picture (ideally including a dog), funny bio, and honest approach from within. If you can manage these 3 things, you'll be married in no time, or at the very least have an inbox full of messages from prospective women your mother will most likely hate!

Lead image via Shutterstock.

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