×

How To Impress A Beautiful Woman (Featuring FHM Girlfriend Ekaterina)

29-year-old model Ekaterina is becoming a big deal. She's worked on a Guy Ritchie film, she's got a brown belt in karate and she's even an arse-kicking Kendo sword fighter.

The Siberian beauty is someone you want to impress. Luckily, she told us exactly what we've got to do to impress a lovely lady-type just like her...

FHM: Ekaterina Zalitko—that’s quite a mouthful! Whereabouts are you from?

Ekaterina: You’ll never guess. I look completely different to where I’m from. I’ll give you three guesses…

Russia?

Yes! Oh, that was easy. Well, Siberia. In a little town that sits right next to Kazakhstan.

What was it like for the people of Kazakhstan when the film Borat came out?

Well, it certainly made the place very famous, but it’s obviously nothing near the truth. People were pretty outraged, but I thought it was hilarious. I like a good laugh.

We hear it’s pretty darn chilly down in those parts?

It falls towards -50 degrees in the winter. People say that Russians aren’t afraid of the cold—we are, but we just know how to deal with it better than you guys.

By drinking vodka?

It helps, but we don’t just down a shot every time we go outside to the shops. We’re not fans of long drinks over in Russia—we like very strong spirits. And we don’t do ice: we get enough of that already.

So you could outdrink us then?

I don’t drink much nowadays, but yeah, obviously I could. I have a very high tolerance with alcohol.

What other bar tricks do you have?

None! I wish I had a longer tongue that could reach the tip of my nose. Now, that would be impressive. It certainly would be.

So what else have you got on the cards?

I recently had a role in Guy Ritchie’s next film, The Man From U.N.C.L.E, but it’s only a tiny, tiny part. I’m one of the pit girls at a car race.

Are you and Guy best mates now?

I didn’t get to talk to him too much, but watching him work was amazing. I loved the fight scenes in Sherlock Holmes, and watching from behind-the-scenes was so cool.

Are you an all-out action girl?

It’s my favourite genre – the films inspire me to pick up new, kick-ass skills. I’m actually a brown belt in karate, and I’m learning Kendo, which is a type of sword fighting.

We won’t piss you off then…

It’s for my acting. You won’t catch me karate chopping people for fun, don’t worry. The whole philosophy of karate is ‘one chance, one life’ so it’d be a bad of me to lose my temper and use it. The only time I’d strike is if you grabbed at me in a bar.

Have you had people do that?

One guy felt up my bum, so I turned around and slapped him straight around the face. I think he enjoyed it, because he just looked back at me and smiled. Strange man. I haven’t got time for sleazeballs.

How could we impress you?

I’m constantly dancing when I’m out although you don’t need to have the moves to get my attention. If you want to impress me, just have good manners. If you’re trying to approach me, you’ve just got to come up with something smart.

So how do British guys rate on the manners scale?

I love British guys. It’s the accent…

OK, so we’ve charmed you: where do we take you out on a date?

A very nice Italian restaurant, and you pay the bill. We’ll sit and chat over a couple of glasses of wine, and then head off to wherever you’ve planned for afterwards. It’s your mission not to let me get bored.

What should we talk about?

Something interesting…

And what are your interests?

Well, I like keeping active, martial arts, sleeping naked…

Is that why you moved away from Russia?

Because it was too cold to sleep in the nude? We had 24/7 heating, so I could do it all I wanted. It’s in England where I struggle – your houses are freezing! Damn our cold houses.

And what should we wear on our date?

Suits are sexy. Any colour will do – well, almost. Yellow and pink polka dots might be a bit too much. You should have a moustache and beard, too.

MORE: 'Sexting Secrets: The Dos And Don'ts (Featuring Model CJ Franco)'

Loading ...