31 October is nearly here and things are getting spooky. But how do you know if you’ve gone too far with your haunted house get-together? Luckily, FHM Girlfriend Yasmin and our relationship editor Girl On The Net are here to hold your hand…
Yasmin says: Is this a compliment?
Girl On The Net says: If she’s not impressed, any nearby nurses would probably like your number.
FHM says: It’s wordy, but a big step up from, “You must be a nurse because you just cured my erectile dysfunction.”
Yasmin says: This is so not OK… it sounds more like a nightmare!
Girl On The Net says: 10 out of 10 for effort, zero out of 10 for hotness.
FHM says: Best go for cute puppies, adorable kittens and cuddly daddy longlegs instead.
Yasmin says: Now this is funny, because chances are I came dressed as you.
Girl On The Net says: This is the most hilarious Halloween costume idea I’ve ever heard. Who wrote these scenarios? Will they go out with me?
FHM says: Yes, we will.
Yasmin says: I know how hard it is for you to express your feelings, so it’s nice to see you making an effort.
Girl On The Net says: Cute idea, but if any other women join in the game, your adorable trick will just spell ‘T.R.O.U.B.L.E.’
FHM says: There’s a strong chance of possession by demons, and that didn’t work out well in The Exorcist, did it?
Yasmin says: All we really want is for you to put a little time and effort into something… it shows how much you care.
Girl On The Net says: If you did this for me I would shag you on the spot.
FHM says: Book October off work and get practising.
Yasmin says: I like the thought, but you shouldn’t steal from the kids.
Girl On The Net says: Excellent seduction tactic. I am 80 per cent more likely to fancy someone if they give me food.
FHM says: Sweets are bad for children and make them run around like lunatics. Good work.
Yasmin says: If you did it once, I’d think you were funny. Making us watch it over and over seems like you’re a bit into yourself.
Girl On The Net says: I reckon you’d get a maximum of two attempts before I wandered off to refill my drink. If you’re going to do it, you’d
better nail it first time.
FHM says: Stick with the Macarena.
Yasmin says: That’s cool – it shows you can commit to something and follow it though.
Girl On The Net says: Scientific studies have shown that fear is often linked to arousal. That’s one reason we love horror movies. So why not?
FHM says: Whether or not she could survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse should be the first question you ask yourself. If not, walk away.