There aren’t many British men who feel at ease by a hotel swimming pool.
Suddenly, the “it’s all paid for, this” gut you’ve been cultivating since Christmas seems unwise. Especially when compared to the pool boy, Pedro six-pack, whose bronzed torso is having the same effect on your lady as the Fifty Shades Of Grey book club she joined.
The answer is to distract the gaze away from your tum to your wrist: and the best way to do that is with a diving watch. Not only will it give you an air of sporty sophistication, but when your mates dump you in the deep end for bantz, at least your watch will still work.
Diving watches all share certain characteristics: a bezel (that numbered ring round the outside); water-resistance to at least 100m; and a chunky look that harks back to the original, and greatest diving timepiece of them all, the Rolex Submariner.
So, before Magaluf comes calling, here are five watches that you can rock by any pool. Gut or not.
Luminox Scott Cassell 3050, £360
So tough it’ll put you in a headlock if you don’t look after it, this super-rugged watch has a carbon-reinforced case and is water-resistant to 200m. The super-bright luminous face means it can light up your street if there’s a power cut.
Citizen Promaster, £189
Christopher Ward C60 300 Trident, £360
Victorinox Dive Master, £770
Seiko Prospex, £296
self-winding movement and made of black steel, it’s no surprise that the ‘teeth’ round the dials have given it the nickname Monster. Grrr!