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All The Sugar, Twice The Caffeine: Jolt Cola Is Making A Comeback

Image Via YouTube/Foywonder

As if the world didn't have enough problems, now we've got the resurgence of a cola beverage so potent it could restart a broken down Chevy on the side of a dirt road in Bumble F-ck America. Frankly speaking, I gave up deadly drinks like this a long time ago. I don't think I've had a Red Bull since 2008, but hey! To each their own, right? Free will exists and therefore, people are going to do what they want to do — I mean, I know plenty of people who STILL think high fructose corn syrup isn't that bad. Yeah, and Meth is just vitamin — puh-lease.

Speaking of corn syrup, it seems JOLT will in fact, be leaving that ingredient. It'll give you heart palpitations, but not diabetes. According to Geek.com

"You’ll start seeing cans of JOLT Cola appear at Dollar General stores September 21. They’ll be available in 10,000 of Dollar General’s 14,000 stores across the country, though pricing hasn’t been announced. Hopefully it’s a dollar. Also, according to the JOLT representative I talked to, it will have sugar and not corn syrup."

 

 

I don't know about you guys, but I'm not going near this stuff. My only hope for this beverage is that it becomes a popular mixer among the college crowd. Otherwise, please leave us normal, semi-functioning adults alone. We really don't need to be tempted by pseudo-cocaine in a can. Again, we gave up Red Bull for that very reason!

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