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Sorry MJ — The New Jordan Trunners Are A Festering Eye Sore And We're Not Afraid To Admit It

Image Via Getty

We think everyone can agree that growing up Air Jordans were the sneaker of the elite! Thanks to Michael Jordan's success on the hardwood with the Chicago Bulls, you were nobody unless you slapped on a pair of those puppies. God forbid you were caught rocking something else — you could kiss your future goodbye. It was social freakin' suicide.

Fast forward years later and Air Jordan is still a brand associated with quality footwear. Hell, we see grown men (ourselves including) wearing them all the time. Isn't that something? Sneakers so influential they transcend time — not only because of their iconic style, but because the name Jordan is associated with greatness.

Well folks, that's all about to change because these new Jordan Trunners are an abomination and purchasing a pair should be punishable by death. Fine, not death, but at the very least you should have a toe removed.

Now we'll go ahead and present the evidence, your honor....

Exhibit A:

 

Exhibit B:

 

 

Exhibit C:

 

 

Woof — we'd sooner slap on a pair of paten leather stiletto pumps than be caught dead with those janky-ass shoes on our feet and for $130, puh-lease! That's a huge sa-wing and a miss. It's really no wonder that Adidas was able to steal the #2 slot right out from under them, huh?

 

 

Fortunately, our eyes won't be assaulted here in The Good Ol' US of A just yet. According to Sole Collector:

"This initial release is exclusive to Japan, but a stateside drop can be expected some time in the near future."

C'mon, just keep them in Japan. Don't we have enough problems here? The last thing we need is sneakers that look like a failing modern art project some student at RISD did the night before it was due.

Image Via Getty

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