“Dudes, DJ BBQ is here for you. I know you’re all freezing your butts off. I know you’d all rather put your penises into a vice than get out of bed in the mornings. I know it feels like light-years until that next pay packet drops, and I know your New Year’s diet is making you ill as shit. Listen: screw your flu tablets. The only medicine that’ll help beat winter’s ass is my deep-fried, winter butt-kicking corn dogs.
“Why do these bad boys make me instantly happy? This is true American fairground food. When is a kid happier than when he’s rolling around a fair with a belly full of food ready to throw up on a ride? Never. A bag of cotton candy and these beauties had me grinning like a frickin’ goon. What’s more, there’s a mega-ton of carbs in there, all deep fried and golden. Man, it’s total and complete happiness on a stick. Hand it to your bro and watch his grumpy ass thaw out.”
3 tbs sugar
2 tsp baking powder
4 large eggs, beaten
Loads of hot dogs
French’s yellow mustard
Whisk up your cornmeal, flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and pepper, then stir in eggs and milk to make a batter. “You want a thick consistency so it hugs that hot dog like a blanket,” says DJ BBQ.
Pat your dogs dry, and ram a kebab stick into it lengthways. Roll in flour and then dip into the batter. Wipe any excess batter away using your fingers to make sure you have an even smooth coating.
“Heat the oil in on the hob. It’s ready when you can flick a bit of water in and it fizzes,” DJ BBQ says. Cook them for 5–7 mins, turning them every so often. Take them out, cool them down, get some dips and get ready to punch winter in the nuts.