Image Via Shutterstock
In a perfect world intimate details of your sex life would remain, well, intimate. Unfortunately, that's not always the case and if you ask me, it adds all the more pressure to an already stressful situation. I mean, sure, don't get me wrong — sex is basically the key to happiness for men, but I'd venture to say that most dudes wouldn't be too pleased to by everything their lady is saying about their bed game behind their backs. Oh yeah, you best believe those details aren't staying a secret and yep, we've got just the study to back it up.
VictoriaMilan asked 8,407 of its active female members from 21 countries what they take notes on during sex to talk about with their girlfriends later on. Gentleman, you might want to sit down for the following subjects because let's just say, you're basically getting judged like an Olympic athlete in there.
- Duration: As mentioned above, sex is a happy occasion! Problem is, some guys get a little too happy, if ya know what I mean. Chances are if you're quick to pull the trigger, she's telling her girlfriends about it. Don't worry though, here are some tips to help you out ...you know for a friend (wink, wink).
"Duration of the encounter is always a hot topic of conversation for women from Belgium, Finland and Norway. Timing is everything, and she will have been observing the amount of time it took him to approach her and to ask her to come home with him right down to the minutes, hours or days they spent in the bedroom."
- Size: Well, we all knew this was coming but don't start sweating just yet! Turns out, women aren't as judgey about your Johnson as you might've thought —
"The size of a man’s penis is the first thing women from Ireland, Poland and South Africa and will ask their girlfriends, and if it wasn’t the right size, what’s important is how he made up for it. Technique with fingers, tongues and spending time ensuring she is fully satisfied will count for more than massive size."
- Manscaping: Ah yes, Manscaping — the bane of every dude's existence. How much is too much? Do I shave the balls? Wait, what if I cut myself shaving the balls? I want to stop thinking about balls. There's just a lot involved with the the whole ordeal but rest assured, women notice!
"Manscaping is a massive topic of conversation for women from United States, Australia and Denmark – they will be checking to see whether a man is trimmed, waxed, shaved, styled or au naturel from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. Getting it right down there is all a matter of personal preference but the ladies tell us a good way to think about it is: what you prefer in others should be reflected on yourself."
- Smell & Taste: Gross. I don't really enjoy thinking about the smell and taste of men, but hey! All in a day's work, right? Obviously these are highly important factors when mating and if you aren't up to snuff, your lady and 456789876 other ladies WILL be talking about it.
"Smell and taste are significant factors for all women, but are the #1 topic for analysis for women from Switzerland, Austria and Sweden. Was he a smoker, drinking something strong or did he brush his teeth before taking her to bed? Was his skin salty, sweet, sweaty…? Had he taken care to ensure he was clean and ready for her or did he assume she would go down regardless of the fact he’d come straight from work to the date and beyond?"
So, there you have it! Now remember, before your next romp be sure to shower, shave, have a decently sized penis and ability to last longer than 30-seconds. Sounds pretty easy, no? No pressure! Stay golden out there, Gents.
MORE: The Ideal Number Of Sexual Partners Can Be Counted On Just One Hand (According To New Study). Read story here
MORE: New Study Reveals The Most Popular Ways People Get Down In The Bedroom. Read story here
MORE: Bedroom Dry Spells: From Who's To Blame, How To Cope, And Everything In Between. Read story here