I'm not sure how many times this has to happen for men to understand that you DON'T TEXT ANYTHING EMBARRASSING until you're absolutely certain a girl has given you the right number. Why is this such a difficult concept to understand? Just lead with, "Hello" it's your safest bet no matter who's on the other end of the text.
I wish Michael could have heeded my advice before he went ahead and completely f'ed up. Poor guy really made an ass out of himself.
The following screenshots were posted to Imgur by handle, Iwasdoingfinelurking because as with most things nowadays, human humiliation is going to end up on the internet, and better yet, it's going to go viral.
I don't know whether to laugh out loud or cover my face in shame. I really do feel bad for Michael! He really was just trying to defend himself against the evils of gossip, AKA Crystal, who has nothing better to do than spread tacky rumors about his baby d*ck.
....I'm sorry, ALLEGED baby d*ck. Then again, is two women saying the same thing about your penis still considered hearsay?