What's that bright orange thing in the sky? Oh, right, that's the sun, something that we've been deprived of for the past six month it seems. But, thanks to the calendar continuing to change, we're ever so close to it finally feeling like springtime.
As we wait for the warmer weather to come, the unofficial start to the spring is, without a doubt, festival season, as partygoers and music-lovers slip on their sunglasses, shorts and backwards caps to take in some of the best tunes around.
With Coachella's first weekend starting tonight, we have one of our favorite women, model Cj Franco, tell us what every man wants to know—how to get lucky at a music festival. Her tips are appreciated.
You don’t need to go on missed connections to achieve your goals, you just need to be smart if you're trying to get some extra special memories this year.
1. Hygiene: Just like the 1800’s, basic hygiene is going to be a massive advantage in the middle of the desert. I'm looking at the dirt under your nails and the answer to any question you ask is "no".
2. Pick Me Up: I’m little, I can't see a damn thing, and my feet hurt. If you put a girl on your shoulders during her favorite song, it's basically a done deal. Guys, this is also a good hygiene check point.
3. DO NOT Hit On My Friend... At Least Not In Front Of Me: Full attention, I want lots of eye contact. Oh, and I want you to choose me over your favorite performer so we can sit in the dirt and say revealing things about ourselves. I need to know that you hate festivals and you're only coming as a favor, or that your ex broke your heart—and something about my vibe makes you feel like you are ready to love again.
4. Leave Your Pals Out Of This: I’ve said this before, but seriously, I cannot emphasize this enough: We do not want to meet your friends—unless your friend is better looking than you, in which case, don't be an idiot, tell your homeboy to find his sexy self another ride to the tent.
5. Don’t Get Sloppy Drunk: I’m not holding your hair while you throw up, and I’m certainly not retying your man bun for you.
6. Be Persistent And Adventurous: Emphasize the rareness of any promiscuous or social behavior. Put in a little effort, stay committed, or at least appear committed, try to make your flaming festival romance memorable and remember, no one wants to get deep d*cked in a friggin' Porta-Potty.