We can't speak on behalf of everyone's experience, but it's a pretty well-known fact that most Sex-Ed teachers are just physical education majors who had no choice but to learn both subjects (because teaching ultimate frisbee isn't exactly, well, er, teaching at all). No offense to gym teachers or anything, it seems like a pretty cushy gig! However, when you fail to teach the masses of America's youth about sex, you create a much larger problem. Hell, you create a damn health crisis.
For instance, it's pretty freakin' dangerous for teenagers to believe that you can't get pregnant in a hot tub or that you don't need to wear a condom if it's just oral. Why? Well, because you can most definitely get pregnant in a hot tub and there's no such thing as just oral.
Newsflash: STDs are not exclusive to your genitals...but we'll get to that in a moment.
We don't think we're being extreme in saying that without Google, people would die. Perhaps not literally, but intellectually. Hear us out — while Google does lessen more conventional means of learning, like reading a book or some sh*t. It does assist in educating the masses. Question is, what do the masses want to know? Well, turns out, they want to know about sex! Go figure.
These are the most Googled Sex-Ed questions with answers directly from Google's top answers page as well as our own input — we're cutting out the middle man, you're welcome.
1. Where is the G-spot?
"The location of the G-spot is typically reported as being about 50 to 80 mm (2 to 3 in) inside the vagina, on the front wall. For some women, stimulating this area creates a more intense orgasm than clitoral stimulation."
2. How to make a woman orgasm?
Unlike men, when it comes to female orgasms there's no one-size fits all mentality. What works for one woman, might not work for another. Your best bet? Ask her.
3. Can you get rid of herpes?
"There is no cure for herpes. However, there are medicines that can prevent or shorten outbreaks. One of these anti-herpes medicines can be taken daily, and makes it less likely that you will pass the infection on to your sex partner(s)."
4. How to get rid of genital warts?
Google didn't have a single true answer on the first page, but rather a bunch of different ads for creams, oils, etc. In that capacity, we have to assume that genital warts, similarly to Herpes, can't be cured, but treatment is possible. As per WikiHow:
"Genital warts are lesions that grow on the genital area of the body. Once inflicted with the virus, the next most difficult thing to deal with is the embarrassment of having it. Although it is nothing to be ashamed of, before the condition gets out of hand, search your kitchen or bathroom for these discreet, inexpensive home remedies."
5. What is the clap?
The Clap is basically street slang for Gonorrhea. There are a couple of theories surrounding the origin of this nickname. The one we subscribe to is pretty logically, actually. Back in the day the French word for brothel was "clapiers" which eventually involved into the clap. No better place to catch Gonorrhea than a 1580s French brothel, right?
6. How to get a bigger penis manually?
Believe it or not, the top answer for this question came straight from YouTube. Not sure of the accuracy, but, hey! Blame the internet, not us:
"To do these exercises and grow your penis larger, you need to hold the tip of your penis between your thumb and forefinger and gently but firmly stretch your penis outward as far as it will go. Hold it in this position for about 15 seconds and then let go."
7. How to measure a penis?
Hm, interesting! Who knew this was such a popular topic on the internet? Well, as per Men's Health:
"Get hard and measure it quick. Again, get the ruler on to your penis as soon as you become fully erect. Now measure the top of your erection, ie the side furthest from your testicles, and check the figure at the tip of your shaft, holding the ruler against your penis base. An average length here is 5.03 inches."
8. How old do you have to be to buy condoms?
Believe it or not, there's no age restrictions on purchasing condoms. Better yet, condoms are free at health clinics — unless you live somewhere where abstinence is the only taught form of contraception. In that case, you should most likely tell your parents it's time to move.
9. How to insert a male organ into a female organ?
Uh, what exactly is this freakin' question?? In order to make this way less creepy, let's go ahead and specify male sex organ into female sex organ (nope, still creepy). Our answer? Don't insert anything into anything without asking first, how's that? It's all about consent, friends. Remember that, please.
10. How long does sex last?
This is another question that doesn't necessarily have a single-defined answer. Of course, there are statistics to support an average. According to GQ:
"In a 2008 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, sex therapists said intercourse that lasted 1-2 minutes was "too short," 3-7 minutes was "adequate," 7-13 minutes was "desirable," and 10-30 was "too long" (interesting that there's some overlap between their opinions on "desirable" and "too long")."
We hope this was equally as informative as it was terrifying! Health teachers of the world, please, DO BETTER at your jobs.
Lead Image via Getty