Phill Jupitus and middle-aged music fans found themselves at a loss this week with the news that BBC2’s flagship pop quiz, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, was set to end after 18 years and 28 seasons.
But let’s be honest. Buzzcocks lost its swagger halfway through Simon Amstell’s reign. The high-point for anyone under 30 is undoubtedly when Amstell made The Ordinary Boys’ Preston walk off, outraged over jokes about his wife. Either that, or the time Amy Winehouse spat on the studio floor.
Ideally, the show should've stopped when Mark Lamarr and that Irish guy left, leaving Jupitus as the original member like Keisha in the Sugababes.
We’ve wandered off topic slightly, but here’s an expertly compiled list of the other shows that need taking out to a calm meadow and gently putting down...
Alright, it’s an easy target, but has The Simpsons been good since you were 12 and used to watch it after tea on BBC2? The answer is no. Forget Marge Vs The Monorail, forget Stonecutters episode Home The Great. Harry Shearer is leaving, taking with him half the cast of characters. Time to send McBane in now and end it all.
The year is 1999, you’ve just come back from weeping quietly into your popcorn at Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. You sit down in shock and turn on the TV. ‘Hang on a minute,’ you think, ‘The Simpsons look different.’ But it’s not The Simpsons, it’s a new animated series called Family Guy and it’s your new favourite thing. 16 years later, we’ve grown up and Family Guy is like the cool older cousin, still trying to make you smoke weed at family gatherings, despite nearing 40. Give it up man.
Look, Game Of Thrones is great, or it used to be great. The last three episodes of season 5 could be packed with battles for the North, bastards on the wall and the nakedness the show is known for, but if 7/10 are slow burners, it’s hard for even a Khaleesi to fight those odds.
OK, we haven’t actually watched this, but that guy out of Casino Royale eating people doesn’t sound great. And why is he always wearing purple? If you’re after Mads Mikkelsen violence, Valhalla Rising (by Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn) is a much better shout and it’s only 92 minutes long.
Clearly, this has only just started filming and, try as we might, our super-mental abilities won’t let us see that far into the future. We’ll tell you this for a fact though: it’s going to be crap. Leave the zombie fighting to Rick, Michonne and Daryl (but please kill off Carl The Kid).
Once every four years everyone in the country likes football for a few weeks. England crash out before they’ve even checked into their hotel and Italy, Brazil or Germany win. Change the cast of characters as much as you like, mate, but we’ve seen it all before. Should have ended when Zidane stuck nut on that Italian lad.
Saturday Night Takeaway? How about you take the TV away instead before we smash it at the sight of these two gurning Geordies? If PJ and Duncan crop up one more time, we’ll start wishing it was us that took a paintball to the eye, not Ant.
Adam Sandler isn't technically a TV show, but we imagine he wakes up every day narrating his own life like a nasal, high-pitched version of the voiceover guy from Big Brother. Easily confused with Ben Stiller, Sandler should have given up the game after Happy Gilmore. Better yet, send him and Stiller to a desert island and see who eats the other first. We’d watch that.
Zooey Deschanel does her 500 Days Of Summer character and there’s a guy called Schmidt or something who used to be camp but now isn’t because presumably the producers did an audience test and Americans didn’t like it. Anyway, it’s bollocks. Utter bollocks.
You could argue that Pizza Hut isn’t a TV show but they have adverts on TV and if you stare through the window for a few hours on Saturday afternoon it’s quite entertaining, so your move, smart arse.
Families frown at you if your shove kids out of the way to get the best slices during the lunchtime buffet, and we also got brain freeze from the ice-cream machine last time we went. Tear it down. Tear it down now.