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Look, I get it. The idea of being in an open relationship and or polyamorous is pretty confusing to folks like you and I who subscribe to a more monogamous way of thinking. Here's the thing though, in NO other circumstance would you (ideally) walk up to someone and say, "So, how's the sex with your girlfriend?" Just because someone's lifestyle appears taboo, isn't an open invitation to pry.
Turns out, the people in the poly community share in my sentiment. I'm sure if you took the time to educate yourself, you'd see they're not much different than you and I. Some people get chicken at Chipotle, some people get beef, and some people get both. Pretty simple, no?
I guess when you put it in the context of food it makes things a lot more cut and dry. Of course, humans and sexuality are far more complex. So, I'm going to stop talking and let people without actual experience on the matter detail their grievances.
Cosmopolitan sat down with a number of people in open relationships to detail the questions they are reaaallll sick of hearing. These are a few of our favorites (that, to be fair, we've most likely asked ourselves).
"Are you sure he's just not using you?"
- Torey, 27, said this is simply a "patently ridiculous" question that's also super sexist. "I think most folks assume the whole thing is my male partner's idea and I'm simply humoring him by acquiescing to some sort of iron-clad set of demands, which isn't at all the case," she said. "We came to this arrangement mutually and negotiate its boundaries as a unit."
"Don't you or your partner get jealous?"
- Matthew, 26, admitted that jealousy does sometimes come up but that literally happens to all relationships — not just open ones. "There's even a word commonly used for the opposite of jealousy in the poly community, 'compersion,'" Matthew said. "Compersion is when seeing your partner with someone else makes you happy. I feel that a whole lot more often than I get jealous."
"Does your partner have more partners than you?"
- Torey said asking this question is a good way to "get punched in the genitals." "Who cares?" she added. "It's not some sort of crew race with dicks."
LOL, touche Torey, touche!
To read them all, head HERE