If you don't already know who Andrew "Beef" Johnston is by now, he's, arguably, the most colorful and most charismatic player on the PGA Tour—which is easy to see with the nickname "Beef." And because the British golfer is so funny, he decided to describe the six stages of drunkenness during an interview with Golf Digest.
"The stages of drinking are as follows. First there is Relaxed and Social—think, normal people filling the bar at 6 p.m. Second stage is Let’s Have One More. This is where the quality of your mates is established and you want more of a good time. Third comes Where Are We Going Next? That’s when the mysteries of the night begin calling. Fourth up: Hammered. It’s a full-on party, even when you aren’t really celebrating anything. Fifth: The Really Drunk Guy. You start sentences with, “I’m being completely serious.” This can be bad news. The sixth stage, the last and worst, is The Journey Home. Here you’re tired, have advanced feelings of regret and just want to get to your bed."
Talk about spot on and hilarious, am I right? It's as if "Beef" only knows how to do two things in this world: play golf and drink.
As the cover boy for the newest issue of Golf Digest, the entire feature on Andrew "Beef" Johnson is worth the read, because the dude is really interesting.