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From stealthing to breadcrumbing, 2017 has been a wild (and sometimes dangerous) ride in the world of dating trends. It seems every time we turn around, yet another crazy fad is popping up, making it all the more difficult for single people to find love — especially on the internet. That's why when we read about roaching, we knew it was important to share it with you guys! Gotta stay ahead of the curve, right?
According to AskMen there are a couple of signs that you're being roached, but before we get into those, you'll first need to fully understand what exactly roaching is. Basically, roaching occurs when you've begun to really vibe with a person and all of a sudden they casually let it slip that they're seeing other people and naturally, it catches you off-guard. Where the heck were the clues?! Do you have to start second guessing every girl you're interested in? AskMen writes:
"Roaching is the name we're giving to this dating trend — because, as the adage goes, when you see one cockroach, there are many more you don't see. In this case, you may have seen just this person, but their hurtful behavior was hiding a number of other confidants, crushes, dates, flirtations, hookups and maybe even relationships from you. And like cockroaches, the behavior's very common, and kind of nasty."
OK, so while this isn't as disconcerting as stealthing, it's definitely something to be worried about. You don't want to find yourself investing time in a lady who has a roster of other dudes! Sure, there's nothing wrong with casual hookups, but the moment you become emotionally invested is the moment you have the potential to get your heart broken (yes, men have hearts too...but don't worry, we won't tell anyone).
So, how do you avoid this situation from happening? Well, AskMen suggests that if you haven't DTR'd (defined the relationship) then you're leaving yourself at risk for a roaching situation:
"But the truth is, if things aren't clearly defined yet, the responsibility is always on the person seeing more than one person to make that clear. Not just for sexual health reasons — although that's super important too — but also simply out of common courtesy. If they're roaching you — that is, going on dates, hooking up with people or spending time having flirtatious conversations with other people without telling you — that's cutting into their schedule and that's time they can't spend with you. If they're establishing a pattern of consistently not telling you about those things, it can quickly begin to feel less like a coincidence and more like an intentional plan to keep you in the dark."
Our advice? Ask questions! If they say they can't hang out, maybe jokingly chime in, "Got a hot date or something?" If you notice any hesitation, feel free to press further! Dating is a two-way-street and if the person you're seeing is intentionally hiding their extracurricular activities, that's not OK. If anything, it's a bit like cheating. No, IT IS cheating. We know it's rough out there, guys! Use this information to your advantage and be sure not to get burned.
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