We’re traditionalists, dammit, no matter what Hollywood says! So we like to keep things simple and, for the most part, as routine as humanly possible.
There was a time when the summer movie season spanned from Memorial Day to Labor Day, theaters crowded with one blockbuster after another (after another). And, it was during that time, where the studios stuck with that simple philosophy… but not anymore, or so it seems.
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Unfortunately, all of them have become intoxicated with the scent of green — yep, we mean money — and continued to just tease us with updates as the "official" summer release dates hit.
For instance, way back in March, FOX released Logan, marking the final appearance of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, global gross: $607 million; while Warner Bros gave us Kong: Skull Island ($565 million); and Disney the live action adaptation of the 1991 animated classic Beauty And The Beast ($1.2 billion). Moving closer — but still not Memorial Day — there was April’s The Fate Of The Furious ($1.2 billion); and early May’s Guardians Of The Galaxy, Vol. 2 ($637 million so far), with potential big numbers for the soon-to-be-released Alien: Covenant.
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Refusing to be sucked into all of this madness, when we compiled our Summer Movie Guide, we insisted on beginning with the Memorial Day Weekend releases and ending with Labor Day ones, because, again, dammit, we like things to be kept simple.
Even as the summer heat continues to make us uncomfortable and the calendar slowly moves into August, we figured there are still plenty of movies that you still need to see. So, from Baywatch to Animal Crackers, they’re all here for you to enjoy... just try your best to actually see these things, will you?!?
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Release: May 26th
The plot of this one doesn’t sound very deep, but, c’mon, it’s based on Baywatch. That means babes, beaches and more babes. Plus Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron. Dwayne is Mitch Buchannon, head of an elite lifeguard squad (who knew there was such a thing?) and Zac is Matt Brody, new face of the team. Needless to say they bump heads, but must work together when a dead body washes up from the ocean that’s connected to a drug trafficking operation. Expect plenty of slo-mo shots on the beach in this one.
Image via YouTube