If there's one thing you need to know about me, it's this—I am terrified of clowns.
There's just something about that cackling laugh... and the smiley face paint... and the aloofness... and the interior not necessarily matching the exterior... and that movie It... and, OK, you get the point.
Given my hatred of clowns, the news that an elementary school being shutdown in Ohio after a teacher reported being attacked by someone dressed as one—while it also threatened students—scares the living hell out of me, per Cincinnati.com.
Reading schools are closed Friday after a woman reported being attacked by a male dressed as a clown. The woman told police that her attacker made a threat against students. Reading police said Kim Youngblood was smoking a cigarette on her porch at South Terrace Apartments when the clown appeared.
"I thought it was just a person that came up behind and grabbed me around the neck, and it turned out to be a person dressing as a clown," Youngblood told 911 dispatchers. "And the person was making threats against the Reading School District, and making threats against me telling me that he was going to kill me."
“He said that there were going to be teachers and students who were going to be sorry that they were ever born,” Youngblood said.
Welp, I just pissed my pants from fear.
Turns out police in the area said posts on Twitter from an account called Clown-Clan was causing "annoyance and alarm to communities," and it's obvious why after looking at some of the group's tweets.
Such threats are felonies, so here's to hoping these bastards are caught—and don't make it anywhere near me.