We're going to keep it real with you guys, we aren't exactly the biggest Bachelor fans on the block. See, aside from some of the former contestants (read: stunners), like Corrine Olympios schooling us on dating tips, we have no interest in the show. We get the premise and all that, but frankly, it just feels a little antiquated.
There's something off-putting about a room full of beautiful, smart, talented women vying for the attention of a single man who, chances are, will end up disappointing all of them in one way or another. We hate to be glib, but, hey! That's just how we feel. That said, The Bachelor is one of the most popular reality television shows of all time. Throw a stone in a crowded bar and you'll hit 50+ fans ready and willing to talk about everything from conspiracy theories to season catchphrases.
Moreover, the show's popularity has lead to a crazy number of people wanting to actually be on the show. Some people want to be doctors, some people want to be on The Bachelor. Dreams are subjective, you know? Turns out, it might be easier to become a doctor, because The Bachelor application process is ridiculous.
Los Angeles Times staff writer Amy Kaufman’s new book titled, Bachelor Nation: Inside the World of America's Favorite Guilty Pleasure, breaks down exactly what each prospective contestant needs to come armed with in order to make their Bachelor dreams a reality. As featured in the New York Post the list below, which we initially thought was a joke, is very, very real:
Fill out an extensive application.
Send in 15 photos of themselves.
Produce a video of themselves “dressed as if going to a nice dinner,” showing off their apartment, their pets, and talking about what their ultimate fantasy date would be.
If producers are interested, the person will be invited to LA for one of two final audition weekends to meet the producers.
A 150-question personality test is filled with multiple-choice and true-or-false questions like: Do you think you can control things with your mind? Have you ever wanted to kill someone?
One-on-one interviews with a producers with candles and mood lighting.
A bigger interview with two dozen producers who ask questions rapid-fire like ‘Would you rather have a DDD bra cup or write a cover story for Vogue?’
The applicant would then meet the show’s therapist who ask them a wide variety of questions like ‘have you ever cheated on anyone?’
A private investigator would then dig up things from their past for story lines and to get ahead of any potential tabloid stories that may come out. The investigator is trained to find out if the person has ever made a sex tape or has an STD [they are required to give pee and blood]. If it turned out the person had an STD, they would be taken out of the running immediately and now dozens of producers and show runners know they have herpes.
Hell, if you're willing to subject yourself to that kind of scrutiny, you deserve all the wealth, health, and happiness B-list reality television can bring you. Our only hope is that the CIA is this rigorous in their application process. We'd also like to make one final quip: it's easier to get a gun in America than it is to compete on The Bachelor. Thank you and goodnight.
Lead Image via Getty