The Ridiculous Things People Have Ever Done For Sex Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself

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Just last week, we told you about the crazy distances that men admitted they'd actually travel for sex, with a few of them even going as far as 1,000 miles for some lovin' between the sheets.

Well, as nuts as some of those men might be—I mean, there are dating apps in your city that were literally made to get laid—some of the ridiculous things that people said they've done for sex are even wilder, making us wonder who in the f*ck would do such stuff?

Since Reddit seems to be the best place for people to open up about their sex lives, here are some of our favorite replies—which, hopefully, will have you feeling much better about your own life.

  • "Agreed to let my gf insert this monstrosity of a double dong in me with the other end in her. Her finger had felt awesome in my bum while she gifted me with her amazing blow jobs. Even the vibrator with grooves running down the sides turned out better than expected up in there so I figured I'd go for it. Ol'Double-Dong turned into one of the most painful experiences I've ever had. Felt like a ball bat going in, all the while she is cumming like a rocket with the other end in her honey pot. I refused to admit my pain, part stupid pride, but mostly all the shit she had done to try and sexually gratify me. I meant, and did, return the favor and acted like it was the best sex ever, even though for days later I felt like I had just got out of prison after serving a ten year sentence. Needless to say Ol'Double-Dong mysteriously vanished while she attended a convention out of town. This backfired horrendously because she replaced it with something I dubbed triple-double, black Shaq. It looked as big as it sounds. Sadly other events in our life together broke us apart so I never had to try her new toy." - kixxaxxas

  • "I'll never forget the time I bought my first girlfriend an $80 pair of shoes she wanted because she said she'd let me bang her." - plax1780

  • "GF wanted to hang out, I was too lazy to drive the 30 minutes to her place at 2 am while it was icy as fuck out. She bribed me with the prospect of sex. So I go out, immediately crash my car into a lightpole (icy as fuck), survey the damage, deem it drivable, proceed to drive to her place while my car disintegrates. Have awkward not very good sex." - Myceliest

  • "Ate some real, real, stank ass." - CrosseyedNun

  • "She was super hot, but kind of psychotic and very intense. She was into cutting her arm and having me lick up the blood before we banged. Sex was great, finding out she worshiped Lucifer was less cool." - accordingtothelore

  • "Watched fucking Cougar Town." - jooselikemoosewithaJ

  • "Way back when in high school days...I Drove 90 minutes at 2 in the morning to her house, fucked in the car, and then drove 90 minutes back home. Worth it." - RikerOmega3

  • "I spent $80 for a round trip train ticket to meet up with a girl I used to date for a weekend. I had no job, no car, and no place for my own; but getting laid was far more important. To get to said $80, I sold a bunch of my old games and systems at GameStop. What a demoralizing time to be alive." - Nitro7311

  • "Became a certified ballroom dance Instructor." - Kelban_verbrennen

  • "Rented a cabin up north for a long weekend; We'd been dating for a month and only played the tip game. She wanted the first time to be special...~500$, 3 days of non-stop bunny-fucking..i think it was worth it...She bought a hole bunch of new thongs and thigh highs for me to enjoy." - derpado514

  • "Went to college in Rochester. Drove 6 hours to northern NJ for a threesome, and then drove back to college afterwards." - Speeding_turtle

  • "Baked a fully vegan pumpkin pie, used milk, didn't get laid. Turns out I'm an idiot." - Spang53

  • "Got married." - -whostolemyusername-

Those are pretty wild, but one of our writers spent the night with an Amsterdam prostitute, so it's not like any of us around her have much room to talk or judge anyone else's adventures—although, personally speaking, I can't think of anything too wild.

Some of these remind me of that scene in American Pie 2, where Stifler goes to great lengths in the hopes of scoring some—which ended pathetically for him.

 

If you have a crazy story worth sharing, hit me up on Twitter and maybe, just maybe, we can tell your story on FHM.com

To see other crazy stories that people have done for sex, head on over to Reddit.

MORE: 'My Night With An Amsterdam Prostitute'

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