No matter if you're a poor schlub who has no job and lives on his parents couch or a successful businessperson who works 20 hours per day, one thing we all have in common is that we've been victims of sending drunken texts.
Honestly, there might not be anything more cringeworthy after a long night out than reluctantly grabbing your phone to check what you said to one or more people while boozing the night away, wondering if you've ruined friendships, just embarrassed yourself or have some explaining to do.
While we've all had our fair share of drunk text moments, Reddit readers went in to share some of their most insane ones ever sent—and the confessions were downright hilarious.
"We were all really stoned after school one day, and my friend called to order a pizza. He somehow accidentally called his dad. My friend was too stoned to even realize it was his dad's voice. The dad proceeded to take the entire pizza order, then texted him about 20 minutes later saying 'Your pizza is not coming.'"
"Not me but one of my brothers. Our mate slept with an absolute horror who had a reputation for being dirty. My brother meant to send him a text saying 'did she take it up the arse.' Instead of sending the text to Dan, he sent it to Dad. My Dad replied 'There are at least three times she didn't.' I have two brothers."
"Texted some girls mom, 'hey!' thinking it was her. Mom texted back 'hey tupnado21, this is her mom.' To which I replied, 'that's okay you're hot too.' Regrettable pause... No response... Panic text follow up, 'I mean, I think you're sexy for an old lady!'"
"Ate 3 boxes of peeps on Easter and took the nastiest shit. Tried texting a pic to my group of guy friends but instead sent it to the girl I had been dating for 3 weeks. 2 years later she still brings it up."
"Wanted to get some tail and decided to text two girls instead of texting them separately I texted them together in a group chat... in the group chat they both texted 'who's the other person in this chat?' I didn't answer and went to sleep."
"Not drunk, but I dropped 3 tabs of acid and texted everyone in my phone that I was about to die and I loved them all. A very hard next day trying to explain to my aunts and uncles why I texted them."
"I was drinking in Greenwich Village with friends, seen this absolutely gorgeous woman. I'm talking Greek Goddess. She had olive skin, beautiful blue-green eyes shoulder length black curly hair and an amazing body in a skin tight dress (it was February and it left little to the imagination). I didn't talk or dance with her at all, yet through liquid courage I talked to her right before we were gonna go to a different bar. I tapped her on the shoulder and just said 'Hi, I just want you to know you're fucking amazingly beautiful' and didn't expect much from it so I went to walk away. Instead, she grabs me, gives me her phone and tells me to text myself from her phone. I asked her for her number as well. I fucking wound up giving this amazing woman her own phone number!"
"'I love your tits!' Sent to my Mum. Guys, if you're sexting a girl while drunk, make sure her name doesn't start with 'L' or 'N - they're way too close to 'M' for 'Mum.' Damn you for making my life awkward Naomi."
This is why, when drinking, it's best to be the one to offer up plugging in your phone to a speaker and providing the music, because it can save you from unforgettable texts like these poor people had to live through.
You can check out more awkward texts over on Reddit to try and save yourself from similar horror.
Lead Image Via Getty