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Usain Bolt Might Be Fast AF, But When It Comes To Women He Doesn't Know His Ass From His Elbow

Image Via AfroLad

Before we get into this thing, I just really want to ask—are we sure Usain Bolt's last name is REALLY "bolt"? Like, that's just too coincidental to be true. I smell a fish, or is it a rat? Are those two completely different expressions? I think they are. Whatever. Google says his name is Usain Bolt and I believe everything I read on Google—case closed.

Now that I've effectively deviated from the entire point of the article, we can begin. So I'm not sure if everyone is aware, but Usain Bolt is a philanderer of sorts. He boasts about his beautiful girlfriend and their prospect of being together forever and having children, which I'll admit is sweet, but then he turns around and brings random chicks (chicks, yes, multiple) back to his hotel room.

I don't mind when a man (or female for that matter) sleeps around, it's not my business or place to judge. If you want to bring multiple women back to your hotel room, that's great! Do you, boo boo. But if you happen to have a girlfriend and you're also in the public eye, I just don't think it's a good look.

At a Kentucky Derby party with Mumm Champagne in Manhattan on Saturday, Jamaican track god Bolt told Page Six—“I think I have gotten better over the years when it comes to women. But there is no way to tell the difference between a groupie and a good woman … All I can do is have a discussion, and it is all about talking to people. I have been around so many people, so over time I kind of figure them out.”

Let's dissect this statement, shall we? Not line by line, but sort of overall. In one-token he's saying he can figure people out, while in the other he's saying he can't decipher a good woman from a groupie. Speaking of groupies, Olympic track runners have groupies? Seriously?? I mean, I understand perhaps when the Olympics are actively taking place, but outside of that...WTF. Also, what's with the 'woe is me' shtick? It doesn't seem like women have betrayed him, but rather the other way around!

I'm not sure why I'm hating so hard, he just seems like a dope who plays women on the regular. Fastest man alive or not, that's not cool.

BroBible

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