Chart-hitting rapper Professor Green opened his brand-spanking new front door to FHM to give us a tour of his fresh new home, feed us slabs of T-bone steak and wash it down with delicious whisky.
Turns out, the man knows his way around his bloody snazzy kitchen. On top of a very interesting interview in which he reveals what married life and coming close to death feels like, as well as exactly what he thinks of Spencer Matthews from Made In Chelsea, the Prof. picked five items every respectable man needs in his home…
5 things Professor Green says every man pad needs:
A skillet in his kitchen...
“Ah, my pan. Millie bought it, but I cook the best chicken on the planet with it. You blast it on the heat to start with and crisp it up, and then it goes right into the oven. It’s the moistest chicken ever. I eat loads of chicken. But fuck dry chicken. Dry chicken is the worst."
A whisky cabinet in his living room...
“The rockstar bar. It’s by Buster & Punch, and it’s the coolest. I need a load more whisky for it, though. My favourite bottle lately is a Japanese whisky called Yamazaki 18. It’s the bollocks, I love it. All the bottles I've acquired over the years seemed to have disappeared. I’m the king of getting people back to my place on a night out. It’s a much safer environment here. You don’t have to worry about, er, elements that are out of your control. Like camera phones.”
A neon sign on his wall...
“I bought this before I realised how much my fucking house would cost me, so I stupidly bought it. I say stupidly, I fucking love it. Chris Bracey, who also did my album artwork, made this. It’s the only bit of art I own, unless my financial situation changes substantially after this record it’s going to be the only bit of art I own for a little while.”
An enormous 4K telly...
“It’s sick, innit? I’ve only really watched nature shows on it, but it’s so vivid it’s mental. The sound, too. Wow, the sound. I want to get the Mario Kart on it. I love that game.”
A vintage motor on his driveway...
“This is Millie’s Mercedes 300SL. She’ supposed to be ‘buying’ it off her dad, but I don’t think she’s given him any money for it yet. She looks fucking wicked driving it. I’m yet to have the pleasure of driving it as I get my license back in December. It’s not very practical, as you just melt inside it. There’s no AC, but it’s just so nice with the roof down and you hear the wicked noise it makes.”
Now for the real grilling...
FHM: This year’s not exactly been a quiet one for you, has it? You’ve ticked off some major life goals…
Pro Green: Yeah, I got married, moved house, got hit by a car, got arrested then re-arrested, turned 30…
Which one scared you the most?
It was definitely somewhere between getting hit by a car and getting married. Being 30 I had no fear of, that I don’t care about. The alternative to growing old is dying so I’m comfortable with it, especially with some of the close scares I’ve had. Like the car thing, it was horrendous. I was off my feet for three months, fucking doped out my mind, prescribed morphine and codeine, which don’t sit very well with me.
I got really fucking depressed. It was just horrible. My skin was itching and I was having conversations with people who weren’t there. I just ended up having to stop the painkillers which meant I was in the shittiest mood all of the time because I was in so much pain. When the accident actually happened, I was just like, “Again?” It was nearly four years to the day that I got stabbed so I started looking into all these supernatural things…
I realised I got stabbed and hit by a car on the super moon. The next time it happens, I’m just going to wrap myself in cotton wool.
When you got hit, did the driver recognise you?
Yeah, he started crying his eyes out. When I came out of shock and was starting to feel all the pain, I was like, “What the fuck are you crying for?” But all he’d done was take his foot off the brake, not realising he hadn’t turned the car off, so when the engine started he panicked, went to hit the break and hit the accelerator. It was just a freak accident.
Getting married can’t have been as frightening as that…
I’ve not got many good examples of lasting relationships in my family, quite the opposite. I wasn’t sure if it was something I would ever do. It was scary, and it brought back loads of things I thought I’d dealt with but hadn’t.
I was like, “Fuck, my dad’s not going to be at my wedding.” Then Millie said something quite valid: not only would I not have my dad, but I don’t talk to my mum. It’s not something I ever speak about, but we don’t talk. That was like, “Shit.” But, more importantly, it highlighted the people I did have there. I’m starting to get a lot better at looking at the positive, because I used to be quite a pessimist. Millie is the absolute opposite; she’s an optimist to the point that it sometimes becomes naivety but I think that’s an endearing quality. If we can meet in the middle somewhere that would be a pretty good place for us to be.
So, this new house of yours. When the builders are all done, what are you going to cook for your first dinner party?
I do a pretty special roast, it’s what I love to cook. I make blinding roast potatoes.
What’s your secret?
It’s the timing, man. I’m a logical thinker and quite pragmatic, so I can get timings totally right. Millie suffers with timing, but she’s been taught how to cook by her mum who’s an incredible cook. Actually, last Christmas, her mum had a broken arm and put me in charge of the veg. I thought, “If I fuck this up, she’s really going to regret her daughter marrying me.” That added some fucking pressure. But man, I nailed it.
When a guy eventually does move in with his girlfriend, what sort of sacrifices does he have to make?
You know what, I’ve lived with girls a few times now, and I would say it’s just your man space. Like, I’ve got a room that I’ve jokingly said I want to turn into a ‘reckless zone’, a proper no-girl zone. That’s really the only thing. But honestly, it’s cool, man. We’re married, so I guess we better be able to fucking live with each other. I mean, I admit, I spend my life trying to wind her up, and she can do my fucking head in. She leaves lights on, never shuts cupboard doors, leaves food in the sink, leaves hair in the plughole. But you need those things, or else it just gets boring. You need ups and downs, and to challenge each other, or it just gets stale.
What’s the one thing you’ve always got in your fridge?
Cider. I love beer, but I can’t drink too much of it. I can’t go out and have eight pints because I get sick, which is a pain because I love beer. So I always make sure I’ve got cider instead. There’s not much else in there really, because I’m always away.
What’s Pro Green’s cider of choice?
I love an Aspall. I had one the other day that was fucking gorgeous, it tasted like apple juice and it was 7%. It was dangerous, but so good.
Nick Grimshaw once called you ‘The Moaniest Man in Music’. What’s eating you today?
The fact that water is coming in through my kitchen wall. That’s pissing me off.
That’s kind of a big deal.
It is, especially when you’ve just moved in somewhere and I’ve still got the builders in a year and a half after they started. It’s been the biggest stress. I’ve watched enough episodes of Grand Designs to know it always costs you double what you initially think and takes twice as long.
Important question: Is Spencer from Made In Chelsea really that much of a dickhead?
He’s a fucking dick. I nearly slapped him. There’s not many people I’d be that vocal about to be honest. I wouldn’t give them the time of day, but he is a proper fucking dick. He once said in a magazine – and keep in mind he doesn’t know me from Adam – he said in a magazine that he felt sorry for me marrying Mille. Who the fuck is he to talk about me, let alone the girl I’m going to marry?
You gotta understand that I’m not exactly going to come up and high five you for that. In his little circle there’s a pecking order, purely based on finances, and not much happens outside of it. But when you throw someone like me into the mix, who doesn’t care what you carry in your pocket, I just called him up on it.
He came up to me at a party and said, “You alright?” and tried to shake my hand. I just looked at his hand and told him to fuck off. How can you expect to say that and then act like it’s cool? We’re not cool. You said that. It’s not a joke. Twat.
Words by: Chris Sayer