Friday, January 8, 1.50pm

IMAGE: Wired.com

Samsung’s concept transparent laptop screen! FHM didn’t take this photo, but there’s a reason we don’t have one of our own. The screen’s caused such a buzz at CES that it’s been to the detriment of all Samsungs other product releases. So, the Koreans have removed it from display and locked it in a cupboard at The Venetian. Seriously. But it’s a good call, because it means that instead we’ll draw your attention to their sickeningly slim LED TV line and their 16GB transparent touchscreen MP3 player. Put your hands together.

Friday, January 8, 12.36pm

Brit loudspeaker gurus Bowers and Wilkins – who make the Zeppelin iPod dock – have just sat us inside a Jaguar XKR to demo their new 20-speaker, 1200 watt audio system. The representative booms the Back to the Future theme tune out at 100.6 decibels, which is, at just 24 decibels quieter than a jumbo jet engine, practically physical assault. Put it this way – you could deafen yourself in the time it takes to drive from London to Glasgow. Installation for the XKR will cost $2,000.

Friday, January 8, 11.50am

This is the Motorola Backflip, the first folding phone to run Google’s Android operating system. The touchscreen folds back on itself, which is nothing if not a novelty. So, FHM asks the Motorola representative: “What’s the point in that?” She doesn’t know, but presumably it’s for standing upright and playing video, or using as an alarm clock. The keyboard’s great to use, and a scrollpad on the back of the phone for navigation. Neat. Sadly, the phone does not actually do backflips. But not far away, a group of ninja women are doing something very athletic in the testing arena for Casio’s new range of cameras. Interested in cameras? you should buy What Digital Camera. But it's worth mentioning that Panasonic are exhibiting a dual lens 3D HD camcorder. That. Is. Awesome.

Friday, January 8, 11.00am

We’ll give you a prediction for the future. People won’t watch 3D with a hangover. No chance – it really hurts. The Las Vegas Convention Centre is heaving, and FHM’s coming to terms with pouring $175 down a Blackjack table last night. But if we failed, we failed while daring greatly. And copping 45 minutes opposite a female dealer with glitter on her breasts. Let’s find the Motorola stand. They’ve designed a phone that can do backflips.

Thursday, January 7, 8.07pm

Thursday, January 7, 5.15pm

Time to wrap it up for the day. But check back tomorrow, when we'll sniff out Samsung's transparent laptop screen, Motorola's Backflip phone, the thinnest TVs available to man and an HD TV inside a Polar bear. It's here somewehere.

Thursday, January 7, 4.45pm

Yeah! ‘Rock out with your e-cig out!’ Amusingly, that’s the official jingle for Florida-based Smoke Anywhere USA, Inc. (www.smoke51.com). They’ve developed flame, tar and carbon monoxide–free smoking devices, which glow red with LED ash when you take a drag on your nicotine cartridge. She’s exhaling atomised water vapour, which is available in a variety of different flavours. It’ll never catch on.

Thursday, January 7, 3.20pm

FHM: bit of a dork

If you had to pick a theme for this industry extravaganza, it’s 3D. We’ve just had a play with Arkham Asylum on the Asus G513 gaming laptop, and it looks great. But that’s pithy news when stood against the new TVs on show from Sony, Samsung, Panasonic (below) and Toshiba. Sure, you’re going to need a new television, overpriced glasses and a special HDMI cable, but if you want Wayne Rooney kicking it against the Yanks in 3D bad enough, you can have it. Again, no prices or specific dates yet, but 1080pi 3D movies and games will be on shelves this summer. Fact.

Thursday, January 7, 1.15pm

Unlucky Man United! Just days after the Old Trafford changing room had a whip around and installed – via crane- an £80,000 100-inch telly in their Carrington training ground, they get well and truly ‘merced’ by Panasonic. The Japanese giants have unveiled a 152-inch plasma beast, which measures 13ft from corner to corner. They reckon it’s got four times higher resolution than a normal HD telly. And here it is. Bo.

Thursday, January 7, 12.06pm

Staggeringly sexy blonde demoing new DJ-ing software. Pertinent. Onward...

Thursday, January 7, 11.41am

Check this out. It’s an AR.Drone, an iPhone/iPod Touch-controlled four-bladed mini helicopter with wind compensation intelligence, autopilot function, on-board cameras and tracking devices. AMAZING. Slightly disappointingly, it’s French – made by Paris-based company, Parrot. There’s no release date or price down yet, but it’ll definitely ship this year, with a host of augmented reality games developers showing a keen interest. Product Manager, Yani Ben, told FHM: “As long as you have the idea and will to do it, it is going to happen,” which made us feel a bit sick in the mouth, but was inspirational nonetheless. Mainly because we were thinking about flying it straight into Abbey Clancy’s boudoire.

Thursday, January 7, 10.27am

Oh. This place is enormous. There must be 25 football pitches of tech here. And it’s all freaking awesome. There’s no logical way to attack this. We’ll head to ‘Techzone’, and keep our eyes peeled for… anything that’s been beautifully put together.

Wednesday, January 6, 10pm

Wednesday, January 6, 8:40pm

Right, well that was interesting. The headlines: Project Natal to be released 'Holiday 2010', so November/December. Halo Reach will drop in the Autumn, and the biggest oohs and aahs went for an 10-inch (ish) HP 'Slate PC' - still at concept stage but multitouch and running Windows 7.

Natal was pitched not just as 'the new Wii', but as a universal control system, which will use your whole body - and voice - to interact with menus, use software, flick through photos, change TV channels, etc. Combine that with 3D and you're in genuine Minority Report territory. But the gaming possibilities are boggling. Early thoughts? Post-pub, you'll be able to say goodbye to your mate, go home, sign in to Xbox Live and beat the crap out of each other. No blood, no ripped jeans, no hassle. Cheers, technology.

So no unexpected headlines, but a confident keynote nonetheless. Check back tomorrow for the best of the rest. We're off for steak.

Wednesday, January 6, 6:53pm

We're underway. Ballmer looks calm. Focused. Completely unhinged. Update in 90 minutes. The WiFi here at the biggest event in the tech calendar is rubbish.

(cc) JD Lasica/Socialmedia.biz 

Wednesday, January 6, 6:45pm

NOTHING has happened yet. They've got power issues, which is slightly embarrassing for a multinational with revenue in excess of $50 billion. Panic-faced technicians everywhere. I can smell fear. Also, I can smell onions. Someone behind us has decided to tuck into their main meal of the day. They're nosebagging a full-on feast from a silver-foiled package. Jealous.

Wednesday, January 6, 5:55pm

We've made it to the keynote in good time. A whole 35 minutes early, which is a record. Looking forward to an energetic delivery from Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. Something - anything - like this and we'll be chuffed to bits:

Wednesday, January 6, 3:32pm

FHM’s just arrived in Las Vegas. Which is — given the grim, post-Christmas, since-when-was-the-UK-such-a-sodding-arctic-slum mood we were wielding like a battleaxe just 36 hours ago — a great stroke of luck. We’re here For the CES 2010, the Consumer Electronics Show that kicks off in a few hours time with Microsoft’s keynote speech, in which they’re expected to reveal their much-fabled plan to out-Wii the Wii: Project Natal. Exciting.

But that’s not all. Fittingly, CES is where all the tech industry’s biggest players lay their cards on the table. 3D televisions, wireless HD devices, ereaders, super-light netbooks, new mobile phones and touchscreens the size of coffee tables are all ready to reveal themselves to the commercial arena. No more drooling over cool videos on YouTube – you’ll be able to actually buy them. In Dixons.



But what about the big dogs; Google and Apple? Well, smugly ensconced in their Californian mountain retreat, Google yesterday unveiled their Android-powered Nexus One phone, then reeled as bloggers worldwide mustered a massive collective yawn. HA. And Apple, slated to make their big 'Tablet' announcement on January 26, are also keeping a low profile. Because they’re so bloody cool.

Whatever. Whoever does decide to have some fun, we’ll let you know about it. Follow the keynote here on Twitter, and check back on this page for more fleshed-out news stories, pictures of massive portions of food and maybe even some strippers. It would be boring not to.