The best thing about festivals is – murder and rape aside – you can pretty much do whatever you want. Policemen wander about deliberately ignoring the massive bags of drugs that revellers have stapled to themselves and just try and make sure no one dies. It’s silly really. But good.
But the worst thing about festivals is that they’ve slowly become hideously and unjustifiably expensive. Like packets of fruit and nut mix. Glastonbury’s good, sure, but £175? That’s a lot of money just to lose your tent and never get to see Michael Eavis’s upside-down head. Which is why FHM's festival guide includes five options outside the UK, as well as five guaranteed good times on these shores. On your marks. Set... Get mental!