“I love you like a fat kid loves cake.”

SINGLES:

1/ Hot Chip – One Life Stand

Hot Chip are unnervingly lovely. Even a song with a menacing plink-plonk and a title alluding to casual sex in the afterlife is actually about how much Alexis Taylor wants to stay with his wife forever and ever. So bloody nice. They’re even lovely in the video, performing heroically nerdy dance moves in a stripy blue room looking like they’re having a wonderful night at the least raucous party of all time with a soundsystem so good it would make gatecrashers’ sinuses drain right out.

2/ The Strange Boys – Be Brave

Totally ruddy excellent.

3/ I Blame Coco featuring Robyn – Caesar

Well this is Sting’s daughter, so already we’ve been backed into a corner. But it’s remarkably no way as shit as you’d expect, even if she does say “fucking” and reference the Lord of the Flies in a kooky electro-pop song which is like bringing up your plans to have Beef Wellington next Sunday while chomping through one of two McDonald’s double cheeseburgers.

4/ The Maccabees featuring Roots Manuva – Empty Vessels

Excellently, Empty Vessels – a reimagining of No Kind Words by The Maccabees – has you going “oo, cool idea” within thirty seconds. If it ended there it would be a) bizarre, but b) not long enough to remember Lupe Fiasco’s complete owning of Radiohead’s The National Anthem last year, or the eureka moment that resulted in MIA turning The Clash’s Straight to Hell into Paper Planes. Roots ‘Rodney’ Manuva, for once in his musical life, is clinging to third place with this one.

5/ Phoenix – 1901

Totally ruddy excellent.

6/ Helping Haiti – Everybody Hurts

Helping Haiti = good. This song = bad.