1/ True Blood

When?
Channel 4, Wednesday 10pm

Why should I watch it?
It's the best Vampire sex you'll ever see. Fact. Why is that good? If you're into all that stuff - this applies to anyone who has ever heard of 'Vampire-con' (as in 'Comic-con', but this one is just about Vampires) -  it will be awesome. If you are a well adjusted individual and maintain that mortal human beings without fangs are 'just fine thanks', then all you have to do is remember that this is an entirely fictional, highly addictive American TV show. All of the cast and crew are fangless actors getting naked and romping. Good.

True Blood is unapologetically explicit. It's is all about gothic excess and oodles of blood (corn syrup). It's set in Louisiana, where vampires and humans live agreeably, thanks to the existence of a blood substitute (named after the programme's title). Sooki Stackhouse played by Anna Paquin, is a hot waitress who falls in love with, broody vampire, Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) who returns to the town of Bon Temps after his last remaining relative dies. It's lascivious, fun and easy to sink your teeth into. Grrrr.

Show me where:
Watch it on BBC iPlayer.

2/ Kidulthood

When?
BBC3, Sunday 12.20am

Why should I watch it?
Brutal violence and explicit language? Yes please. This is the grimy stuff or good old British 'gritty realism' as film critics would have us believe. It's shocking because it's real. Hear what I'm saying blood? It's about 15-year-olds pretending they're all grown up in West London, in this searingly honest depiction of teenage life in the poorest parts of Britain. It's all drugs, sex and gun crime for these delinquents and they bloody love it. Complete with 'ganster' soundtrack this really is British film-making at its best. Look out for the guy from Skins and Jamie Winstone. She's a proper chav.

Show me where:
Watch it on BBC iPlayer.

3/ Britain's really disgusting food

When?
BBC3, Tuesday 12.15am

Why should I watch it?
Want to continue eating shoddy package meals - such as a microwavable mixed grill - whilst blissfully unaware that you're actually eating chicken droppings? Then DON'T watch this programme. Alex Riley (the BBC's connoisseur of rubbish food) delves deep into the food industry to discover how much 'meat' is actually in processed meals happily endorsed by the UK's finest supermarkets and chefs (Gordon Ramsey). Who knew that processed pig skin could taste so good? Totally gross but essential viewing.

Show me where:
Watch it on the BBC iPlayer.