You’re forever touching up lasses on our screens. We’re not complaining, but what’s the score?
I don’t know what it is that they see in me that makes them think I’d be good for lesbian parts but you’re right –-there’s something there. I actually find girl-on-girl kissing scenes easier because there’s always a concern that the guy thinks you like him.

You must get a flutter in your stomach when you’re kissing hot ladies?
No, honestly, it’s just work. That’s like saying you get a flutter from your job.

Funnily enough we do.
Behave. But whenever there’s a lesbian kiss scene the studio suddenly fills up. There’s sparkies, gaffers, boom operators, all these people watching. Then there’s loads of other people huddling round the monitor.

We saw you on Today With Des And Mel. If you had to snog one of them, which would it be.
Oh God, this is so FHM! I went to A Night With Des O’Connor; he’s a real charmer. But Mel is gorgeous so I’ll have to go with her.

So it’s true, you are a lesbian! If you had to get it on with one of these famous lezzas, which would it be: KD Lang, Sonia from EastEnders or Ellen DeGeneres?
How many more lesbian questions are there?

Loads.
Okay, well I’d go for Sonia from EastEnders – she’s a good actor.

You went to the Italia Conti School with our mate Kelly Brook. Who else went?
Martine McCutcheon and Louise Redknapp.

Did you all have a sleep-over and a pillow fight in your underwear?
Ha ha, no we didn’t, we were too busy going club-crawling.

 

 

Would you do reality TV?
I’d never say never. We’ve all got to pay the mortgage, but it would have to be the right one. I’d consider The X-Factor or something like that. I was invited for talks with Celebrity Love Island but didn’t go.

Righto. Back to lesbians. We’re going to give you some lesbian slang and you have to tell us what it means. What’s a “Bulldagger”?
Erm, something that lesbians put in each others’… parts?

Filthy. No, it’s a very butch lesbian. How about a “Dykon”?
Someone who pretends to be a lesbian?

No, it’s a dyke icon, like Pat Butcher. Lastly, what has a lesbian got on her if she’s said to be “packing”?
A gun?

Nope, a strap-on. What did you do yesterday?
Well, I was being fitted for a silver rubber fetish suit to be used in Bad Girls. It was ridiculous trying to get it on in this hot weather. But they’re going to let me keep it. Sorry if I’m sweaty now by the way, it’s a long bike ride from east London to here.

Aren’t you afraid you’ll get knocked off your bike?
No. I just wear super-small dresses, so everyone can see me.

If you were in prison would you have a bitch or be someone’s bitch?
Ideally neither, but if I had to pick one, then I’d prefer to have a bitch.

Have you been on www.danniellebrent.com?
No. I’m awful with computers because I spent all my years in drama and music school, so I missed the whole IT thing. I actually wiped Abs’ [of foul boyband Five] computer once. He was furious.

 

 

You used to date Mr Abs. Please tell us you called him Abs.
No. I called him Abby. His middle name is Abidin. Everyone thinks he’s called himself Abs because he has a six-pack. Not true.

Does his mum call him Abs?
No, she calls him Abby, too.

Didn’t you break your nose in rehearsals for Bad Girls?
Yes, it was horrible. Liz May Brice, who plays Pat Kerrigan, had me in a headlock and we were rehearsing a fight scene for over four hours. The director asked if we could be more “organic” – which basically means actually fight. We did and her knee caught me square in the nose, breaking it. I was convinced it wasn’t broken until I looked in the mirror and I had two black eyes and my nose was crooked. It needed resetting and I had one week to let the swelling go down before going back to work.

If you had to go with a woman, who would it be?
Oh Lord! Erm… Angelina Jolie. She’s gorgeous and very, very sexy.

Would you rather naked wrestle with her in a bath of beans or in a paddling pool full of jelly?
The jelly – but it would have to be cold so everything stays really pert.

Didn’t you and the Bad Girls’ ladies run riot at the National TV Awards?
I want to put the record straight on this. No we didn’t. The press said we were running around swiping free champagne and getting hammered. Tell me, how exactly do you steal free champagne?

Er, if it’s meant for someone else.
Good point.

Finally, did you know your name is almost an anagram of “bell end train”?
Actually, I didn’t know that. Maybe I’ll use that as my new stage name.

Original interview by Tom Cullen in the August 2006 issue of FHM UK magazine