Massively wrong scarf

It breaks the monochrome colour scheme and it’s far too small. The proper scarf, a Palestinian keffiyeh, should be big enough to wrap several times around your neck. At a stretch, a regular black scarf will do, but only if it’s not smartly tied.

White dress shirt

The colour’s fine, as is wearing a shirt – but not a smart one, and not casually undone at the collar, à la Bobby Gillespie. The shirt should be dishevelled and casual with a small, possibly button-down, collar. If all you’ve got is a dress shirt, do the buttons all the way up. Or go for a wide V-necked T-shirt.

Pea coat

Pea coats are great, but not as part of a slim, tailored look. The fabric’s too heavy and your shape’ll be lost underneath it. In this case the coat’s also blue, which is a cardinal sin for this outfit, especially on the top layer. A black, belted, double-breasted mac would be a suitable alternative, or a longer military coat in grey.

Non-nuclear winter colours

If there’s one rule to this look, it’s stick to monochrome (black, white, grey) hues. Looking like you’ve survived the apocalypse is a lot harder if you’re dressed in all the colours of the rainbow. It’s also essential to not mix your styles. The pea coat (preppy) and these boots (workwear)don’t suit the slightly gothic feel of this look.


Jeans too normal

These jeans are both blue and straight-legged, when actually they need to be black and slim. If you tuck these jeans into your boots, as you should to complete the effect, they will be far too baggy, making you look like a wannabe rapper instead of a steampunk urchin.


’90s ‘work’ boots

The right boots are essential for this outfit. Pre-distressed ‘Lionel Bart’s Oliver!’ boots look sleek with jeans tucked into them. These ’90s workwear boots just look awkward. Finishing at the ankle, they’re also not high enough.